Wednesday, July 8, 2015

A Heated Debate

A very nice looking couple

I'm currently in England. I'm on my tour of Africa with a few European countries sprinkled in the mix. Tomorrow I will be in the Netherlands and then Paris before heading to Ethiopia. 

I've been in England for two days. Yesterday I hooked up with a friend who is currently studying abroad in England (She's getting a PH.D in English literature). Anyway, me and this friend met at a deli. We sat and talked for about an hour. In that time I disclosed that I'm thinking of asking my girlfriend (Sapphire) to marry me. This friend was excited for me....until she found out she is white. This little fact was revealed to her when I showed her a picture of Sapphire on my phone. 

I tell you no lie. You could feel the tension grow between us. Bashfully, I stuck my phone in my pocket and waited for her to say something. She didn't disappoint. 

Friend: I never thought I would see the day you would be thinking about marrying a WHITE woman!

Me: Neither did I...but it's happening. 

Friend: Why? There are plenty of black women available. 

Me: Actually, no. In my 30 years on this earth I haven't run across this platoon of childless, single, educated, fun, loving, beautiful, in-shape black women...not in Atlanta. I haven't run across this platoon of black lesbians who are comfortable in their own skin, who don't come to the table with a hand full of kids. I'm not willing to keep looking for a needle in a haystack when I have a nice woman who is down for me. I don't care if she is white. She treats me right and I'm happy with her. 

Friend: So, you're settling?

Me: I don't see it that way. I would be settling if I lowered my standards and took up with women who have the characteristics I just described to you. "Sapphire" is warm, friendly, cultured, childless, fun, loving, and beautiful. I asked for a good woman....I ended up with a great woman. I would be a fool to let her go based on her race. For a long time I searched for my ideal "black" woman and I came up empty The same qualities I like in Sapphire I looked for in black women. Over and over again I found myself disappointed. I'm not saying there aren't any black women who fit the bill. I'm saying I haven't met those women and I'm not willing to continue searching for them when I have a good woman. I'm not justifying my relationship with Sapphire. The only justification for it is love....and I'll leave it at that. When I stopped looking at race I finally found what I was looking for and I couldn't be happier. 

Our conversation carried on like that and ultimately ended with me say, "I hope you will find it in your heart to be happy for me. I would hate to lose your friendship...."

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