Monday, December 1, 2014

I'm Feeling Restless

At the moment I'm feeling quite restless. This happens to me ever so often when I don't feel like I'm being productive. I feel like I'm missing something in my life. I don't feel full-filled at all. 

I'm not talking about a woman (though a nice well-rounded black woman would be nice). I'm talking about something missing in my professional life. I don't work. I refuse to get a job. Technically, I guess I'm not a struggling artist because I do make good income from my royalties. 

I guess my unhappiness stems from the fact that I'm not writing the type of work that makes me happy. I'm not writing the type of work that will get me the recognition I feel I deserve.

I have thought about writing my memoir, but then I quickly pushed the idea aside. Why? Because I'm only 29 and I don't think I've lived an interesting life. Basically, my memoir would be boring as hell. 

Next, I thought about writing a creative non-fiction story about my family history/genealogy. But then I dismissed that idea as well because I don't feel I have enough information to turn my family history into Roots.

Next, I thought about writing a story about a complex black woman going through a range of emotions that eventually leads her to radial feminism and black supremacy. Of course this story is loosely based on me, but I always wanted to channel my rage into a story that outlines the plight of a black woman. We never get to see a real emotional account of what it's like to be both black and female. 

Sigh...I just don't know where to start.
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