Friday, November 28, 2014

I Am Going To Africa

I just paid several thousands of dollars for a 20 day trip to Africa. I plan to take the trip in July 2015. It is my 30th birthday present to myself. Here is a list of countries I am visiting....
  1. South Africa (specifically Cape Town)
  2. Bostwana
  3. Zimbabwe
  4. Rwanda
  5. Ethiopia
  6. Egypt
  7. Namibia
  8. Tanzania
  9. Mozambique 
  10. Kenya
In  addition to these countries, I will be going on an African safari in South Africa and Rwanda. I will also be visiting Victoria Falls. 

This is probably the most expensive trip I will ever take. However, I think it is well worth the money. My trip will be guided by an English speaking tour guide. I will be staying in the finest hotels and I'm flying first class.

The only regrettable thing about this trip is I won't be visiting any of the west African countries that run through my veins. Why? Because of the situation with Ebola. It is not clear if the problem will be handled by July 2015. 

I know there are several people from various African nations that read my blog. I would love to have a REAL conversation with you. Perhaps we can chat over Skype. If you are interested please email me

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Not My Problem...

One of my Facebook followers asked me for my two cents on the Mike Brown/Darren Wilson situation. I have already given my two cents on this situation. I don't feel like going into a long rant about it again. If you are interested in reading my two cents I suggest you visit my archives. 

I did read a comment recently that summarizes my position on ALL issues involving black men. Check it out...
Many black men have truly demonstrated the Zora Neale Hurston quote "All my skinfolk ain't my kinfolk." Misogynoir is the specific racialized sexism that is ONLY targeted at black women, specifically. Anti-black racism + misogyny = misogynoir. ANYONE in society is capable of engaging in misogynoir against black women. Black men OFTEN demonize, emotionally/physically/mentally abuse, malign, and socially exclude black women and they OFTEN do this in COLLUSION with: A) white women in PARTICULAR B) white men C) mainstream white culture/ white people of all sexes D) other non-black people of color.
Many black men refuse to engage in critical thinking and believe that it's NATURAL to engage in colorism and hold black women to Eurocentric phenotypical beauty standards. This is why so many black women are now in a place where we are fed the fuck up and won't automatically assume you're down for us, the same way we have been down for you. A lot of black women, including myself, ARE now apathetic about the lives and issues of black men in general and we JUST want to concentrate on black women's issues specifically. Let your white/Asian/Hispanic friends and girlfriends organize, participate in your protests, and write sympathetic and humanizing stories about your deaths. Let your mama--the ONLY black woman many of you seem to at least TOLERATE the existence of-- protest for you. Because I WON'T. Not ONLY will I NOT be fretting over the lives and safety of black men, I won't be doing ANY of marching /protesting/organizing shit for them until black men get the fuck off our backs and stop blaming black women for shit that is CLEARLY the result of white supremacy and racism.
Basically, the gist is this: I ALREADY have a father and I am TIRED of these black male RANDOMS coming out of nowhere to lecture grown black women about shxt. This goes double for their worthless opinions were CLEARLY not asked for or solicited. Even worse, their opinions are usually ignorant as hell, because they're so fucking uneducated. So I'm gonna need for random azz, paternalistic black men of ALL ages to back hell up and STOP TELLING black women what to fucking do. They need to stop worrying about whether we are wearing a weave, red lipstick, or belly shirts or whatever the fuck it is that they will have a problem with tomorrow and worry about keeping themselves out of fucking JAIL. Period. They need to worry about getting JOBS and staying in THEIR LANE, so THEY can actually VOTE with every other demographic in this country. Black men need to mind their own RATCHET business because they CLEARLY have a lot to take care of.
This is NOT just a individual character issue, there is a problem WITHIN the black community, where many black men EXPECT unequivocal support and complete loyalty from black women without a similar commitment on the part of black men to black women...and not only THAT, they expect to be able to dominate us and speak TO US and ABOUT US in ABUSIVE, HATEFUL, and MISOGYNISTIC ways and not have us clap back and respond in kind to their asses. NOPE. I was NOT put on this planet to be the footstool of any RANDOM black male online OR offline. I'm NOT their wife, girlfriend, OR their mother and I TRULY don't give a fuck. I don't HAVE TO. If they truly don't give a fuck whether I live or die, why in the hell would I be marching or protesting or really caring about THEIR lives?
A-Fucking-Men! I ride with this woman!

Bottom line... 

Until I see a radical shift in culture, mindset, values, morals and beliefs amongst black men I don't give a fuck what happens to them.

Until I see the rampant sexism, internalized racism, anti-black woman ideology addressed in the black community I don't give a fuck what happens to black men.

Their problems are just that....their problems. 

They better get smart and educated because the white man is aiming aggressively at their heads and getting away with it....again, not my problem.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

I Believe The Black Woman Is God

I honestly believe the black woman is God...

In my short time from blogging I have been working on Sweat and I have been learning everything I can about ancient African history. When I tell you I have been eating and breathing African history I really do mean it. What I have read has had such a profound impact on me that I dumped Sapphire.

I have come to see that I cannot possibly love a white woman (or anyone white) given the history of my people. The short time we were dating was obviously a ploy from the devil to corrupt me and make me love white supremacy. It failed. The serpent almost had me and I'm convinced this is why I was sitting around dreaming about snakes. 

I know some of you were hoping I would give up my "hatred" (read: normal reaction of any rational minded person of color) of whites with Sapphire entering my life. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint. I'm capable of regarding whites with common courtesy and respect. However, that's where the buck stops.

I STILL see them collectively as the enemy of black people and people of color. History has shown me that any time we have "turned the other cheek" and loved our enemy we have been backstabbed and hemmed the fuck up.

Sapphire didn't do anything wrong. I truly wish her the best. I hurt her bad. So I don't even think we can ever be friends. I didn't tell her I didn't want to be with her because of my rediscovered love for all things BLACK. Instead, I told her I wasn't ready for a relationship. 

There is only one woman good enough for me: A black woman.

I don't know how I could ever lose sight of the greatness of black women. The black woman was the original woman. She is the mother of all humanity. She is the most persecuted and degraded being on the face of the planet. She is the most oppressed being on the face of the planet. Despite all of this she is also the most beautiful and resilient person on the face of the planet. 

No other woman on the face of the planet has the ability to make me stop what I am doing and just stare. 

No other woman warms my heart, soul, and spirit the way black women do. 

There is nothing more beautiful to me than a gorgeous and smart black woman with her shit together. 

When I think about the glorious history of black women and how they have tried to rob us of that history by rewriting it and disregarding it I feel like crying. From Nefertiti to Cleopatra to Queen of Sheba to the chick from the Afro Sheen commercials...

black women throughout history have been a powerhouse onto ourselves.

I truly believe if there is a God she is a black woman.

I'm sorry I haven't always seen it. I haven't found MY black woman yet...but I will wait for her.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

I'm Taking A Break To Work On Sweat

I'm taking a break from blogging to work on chapter four of Sweat.

I will be back shortly.

Monday, November 3, 2014



Yesterday I received a text message from my aunt who lives in Alabama. It read, "Why weren't you at Ma's memorial?"

I stared at the text message while thinking, "The fuck? What memorial?"

Upset, I immediately called my dad to ask why he didn't tell me about grandma's memorial. He told me the memorial was held by the folks' at hospice to honor those that died this year. Then he told me he didn't go and he didn't think I would come home to go. 

Disgusted, I told him I had to go and I hung up the phone. I glanced over at grandma's picture on my TV stand and I started to cry. 

There isn't anything I wouldn't do for my grandma. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. Her death has left a void in my life that I don't think it will ever be filled. I just feel a deep sense of loss and pain.

I think her death has also left a void in my family. I remember sitting in the church at grandma's funeral thinking, "Damn the one thing that tied me to this family is about to be lowered into the ground." 

And it's true. 

When grandma (the matriarch of our family) died....the heart and soul of the family died with her. You would think one of my aunts would step up to fill this role, but I just don't see it happening. 

My oldest aunt isn't personable. Spent years getting spanked around by her ex-husband.

My second aunt isn't likeable. She is the one that lives in Alabama.

My third aunt is an opportunist....heifer don't want anything to do with you unless you can do something for her. 

My dad (the only boy) is a man. 

My fourth aunt is batshit crazy. To say she is bipolar is being generous.

It's enough to make me cry all over again....especially considering Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner. This will be the first Thanksgiving and Christmas of my life without my grandma. Sadly, it will also be the first time in my life I don't go home for either holiday.
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