Thursday, October 31, 2013

An Email From A Bisexual Reader...

Today I received the following email from a woman, who identifies as bisexual....
My question is about why you "hate" bisexuals:
I came across an older post about a random girl you started talking to on craigslist, who said she was in a rocky relationship with her male X and wanted to be with a woman for the first time. I understand your choice to halt the relationship if she just wanted casual and you were looking for something serious; makes sense.

But the little blurb about how you HATED bisexuals was disturbing to me because their sexual dichotomy is just as real to them as your lesbianism is to you. So why do you feel that it is okay to bash individuals (I'm thinking women in particular) that go both ways, simply because, they go both ways. 

From reading a few more random posts, it seems that your contempt for women who go both ways, as you usually address them as "confused", stems from the fact that you're afraid that they're emotionally unstable and therefore hurt you if you were to invest in a relationship with them. This is a very real scenario, that from the tone of some of your posts, you may have experienced. But there are "confused" women out there, and then there are women who enjoy sex with other women very much but derive the greatest romantic intimacy from men. From a purely sexual standpoint, that is in fact bisexuality.

What I'm primarily concerned about, is the hypocrisy in your stance as an open, and may I add AGGRESSIVE black lesbian woman. The impression I got from your blog is that your sexuality is one of your greatest defining characteristics of how you see your place and duty in this world. But advocacy in the gay community cannot tolerate half-stepping (no movement can last long) so though you may prefer a femme-lesbian-identifying woman, a woman who is bisexual really shouldn't be less deserving of a chance because how does her sexuality define how she would value her monogamous relationship with you? By discriminating against bisexual women as potential romantic partners, you're therefore limiting yourself to finding that perfect woman with the credentials you need to build a life together. 

"Love is Love" is like the LGBT TAGLINE. So if a lesbian and a M-T-F tranny are in a relationship, it would violate the code of inclusion of the LGBT to condescend their relationship. 
That was just an example, and I'm sorry I'm not trying to superimpose on your dating preference, I'm just saying that it's a bit hypocritical to say bisexual women are not fit partners for an "authentic lesbian" like that dictates anyone's morals and values in a relationship. You're 1) invalidating their sexual identity 2) discounting their emotional capacity to love because they're able to find both men and women sexually attractive

And the fact that you prefer femme in particular, which the vast majority of bisexual women are, I'm just pointing out that if you follow the logic you may have better luck dating. 

Idk, I'm sorry this turned into my own rant, not a question lol. So if you can't guess I'm bi lol. 
Hope to hear back.
Hell will freeze over before I knowingly date a bisexual. I'd rather be single. Lesbians are my preference...the end. As far as I'm concerned the "B" in LGBT needs to be changed to BULLSHIT...because that's exactly what you get 9 times out of 10 from bisexuals. 

If you are who you are, but understand I have a right to my preferences. I'm a lesbian who ONLY dates other lesbians. I don't ever hear folks ridiculing and shaming straight women for NOT wanting to date bisexual men (and vice versa). So, why is it a problem when LESBIANS declare a preference for OTHER LESBIANS?

A bisexual is not "fit" for ME. The next lesbian might feel differently.  

Society says we gay folks are supposed to be all inclusive of everyone, while our straight counterparts are allowed to have their preferences without anyone taking their preferences as a personal affront to themselves.

When straight black women say, "Hell no! I won't date a man who fucks other men" everyone thinks I don't blame you! 

However, when black lesbians say, "Hell no! I won't date a woman who fucks men" we are closed-minded, hypocritical, this, that and the third.

I call bullshit!

In an ideal world EVERYONE would accept EVERYONE for who and what they are in life. Unfortunately, we don't live in an ideal world. In the real world, people have likes, dislikes, hang ups, prejudice, etc.

I don't feel like going into a rant about this issue. Please refer to my archives for a more detailed explanation of my opinion on bisexuals.

If you identify as a LESBIAN would you date a bisexual?

Hit the poll below...

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