Friday, August 9, 2013

Deeply Disturbed

I just finished crying my eyes out. 

I'm so emotionally disturbed right now I might have to sedate myself to sleep tonight (something I haven't been able to do in two days). 


I've been reading the book There Are No Children Here by Alex Kotlowitz. I came across the book on Amazon while searching for books on poverty and the black community. After reading that Oprah made a movie based on this book (one that I remember seeing years ago), I decided to purchase the book. 

It was mistake. 

I have been so disturbed by the material in this book that I forced myself to throw it away after reading about the little girl who was stabbed 48 times after watching some motherfuckers murder her family. The little girl survived. The sear brutality of the crime (along with other events) made me weep so hard. I barely made it through the day today. On my way home from work I was forced to pull over to wipe the tears from my eyes, which began to pour again, while riding down highway 285. 

I don't know why things like this bother me so much. I wish I could turn a blind eye and not give a damn. I wish I could live my life without giving a shit about poor people or members of the black community. But I can't do any of the above. 

I've decided to see a  psychologist. 
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