Friday, May 31, 2013

Black Creative People: Where The Hell Are They???


This has been a constant area of disappointment for me.

I'm getting ready to launch TWO new blogs. These blogs will be self-hosted and they will use wordpress. 

For the last three weeks I have been seeking a black graphic designer/illustrator, and a black web designer, who is capable of coding and designing a wordpress theme. I know some of you might be thinking, "Why do they have to be black?" Well, there are a few reasons for this...
  1. I expect black folks to already understand my cultural needs and desires. So there is no need to explain every thing I require.
  2. I expect black artist to know the "Souls of black folks" so there is no need to explain why I'm asking for my theme to be red, black and green. 
  3. I expect a black graphic designer/illustrator to KNOW how black men and black women are built physically.  I expect him/her to paint an articulate picture of us.
  4. From past experience, white people (and non-blacks in general) don't get black people...at all period. There is a culture divide in this country. I think it has a lot to do with the De Facto Segregation we live under in this country. 
  5. I pride myself on hiring and employing my own (i.e., other black people). 
As a writer, I often find myself annoyed by my inability to find quality black editors for my work. I know these people exist, but they are not prominent on the web. The same is true for black poets, real black musicians, web designers, jewelry designers, furniture makers and painters etc. If you want to locate these "underground" artist, you have to dig deep. You have to do numerous Google searches and you have to comb through all the major social networks to find these gifted individuals.

I wish there was a way I could find a black artist without having to search half the world. I wish there was a way that I could locate a black funk band for an event without hitting a brick wall. I wish there was a way that I could find a black editor without getting a headache from searching.

This whole ordeal has me so upset that I'm thinking about doing something about it. 

Here in Atlanta we have the "Gay Yellowpages." It is full of gay friendly Atlanta businesses. Why can't something like this exist for black artist? Why can't we have a modern day Green Book for black artist or a Who's Who Amongst Black Artist or just some type of directory listing these people, their work and their contact information? 

I may have inadvertently stepped on my opportunity to become a publisher! 

There is a need. Why can't I be the one to fill it?

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Trapped In The Closet


I get a lot of emails from black women, who are stuck in the closet for whatever reason. Most of these women are young (15-24 years old). Most of these women fear the reaction of their parents, family and friends. And surprisingly, most of these women are looking to me for advice about their situations.

Whenever I receive an email from one of these women I always say the same thing: Don't come out until you're ready to deal with the consequences of that decision. 

By consequences, I mean being disowned by your family (and friends), kicked out of your parents' house and thrown under the bus financially. 

I can understand why a teenage girl or a young adult, who is still dependent on mom and dad for all their basic needs (shelter, money, clothes, food etc), might be hesitant to come out of the closet. Some parents will disown their child, and they won't think twice about doing it. I wouldn't advise anyone to leave the closet until he/she is ready to take care of his/herself in every way (especially financially...it's hard to make it out here if you're broke and poor). 

A few weeks ago a 15 year old girl emailed me. She said she desired to come out to her parents. I told her NOT to come out to her parents unless she was ready to deal with the consequences of that action. I never heard from her again...though maybe she still reads this blog.

For all you 15-24 year old teenagers and young adults, I understand your struggle. For all others (i.e., those 25+ and financially independent)...not so much. 

The world has changed. While homophobia is still a REAL issue, who the hell do you have to answer to if you're paying your own bills??? I can understand hiding your sexual orientation while on the job (workforce discrimination is real). However, why hide outside of work? At this point you shouldn't be dependent on mom and dad's wallet. You should have your own wallet!

I personally cannot date someone who is trapped in the closet. I'm almost 28 years old. I don't have the time or sympathy for someone afraid to live their life at my age. Maybe if I was still in my early twenties I would be more understanding. However, at this point in my life, I'm looking for a wife. This shit doesn't fly with me. I can't and won't be trapped in the closet with someone, who is a afraid to be herself.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Kimberly McLeod: My Latest Crush


I haven't been blogging as much as I usually do, and that's because I'm tired as hell! When I come home from work the only thing I desire is sleep! It is very hard to sit and write when I'm tired and fatigue. So, blogging has taken a backseat to my health and wellness. Eventually, I will pick up the pace a little bit.

Also, if I haven't responded to any of your emails it's not because I'm ignoring you. Again, I'm busy and I'm tired. I will respond as soon as I can and I will post your guest blogs sometime this week.

Now on to the topic...

I have a crush on a beautiful black woman. This woman is smart, unbelievably cute, and she is about her business. She kind of reminds me of myself. Some of you might know her or maybe you've heard of her. Her name is Kimberly McLeod and she is the editor-in-chief/founder of Elixher

I first learned of Ms. McLeod, and her website, while browsing another site. I remember looking at her and thinking, "Wow! Who is this woman???"

I was smitten then and I'm crushing hard now. When I see or read something about Ms. McLeod I feel like doing this to her...

There is something truly heartwarming about a black woman, who is on point in every way. I feel a real soft spot in my heart for black women like her. I'm not a poet, but I wrote this short poem for Ms. McLeod...

I Want To Be Yours

I want to be your vacuum cleaner breathing in your dust
I want to be your baby cuddling near your bust
I want to be your pizza, you can have my crust
I want to be yours, so I can stop with this lust!

I don't have the heart to send her this post. Nor am I bold enough to ask her on a date. I guess I will continue to admire her from a distance. *Sigh*

Thursday, May 23, 2013

A Black Lesbian's Struggle To Meet & Court A Wife


The older I get the more I desire a stable committed relationship that will lead to marriage and children. At this very moment I'm reading the book Black Titan: A.G. Gaston & The Making of A Black American Millionaire. As I sit and read this book, thoughts of finding an awesome educated black woman who shares my vision for the future begin to flood my consciousness. 

Becoming a successful writer (and hopefully a successful business owner) is only half the struggle for me. This was easy compared to the next half of my journey. On the verge of becoming twenty-eight years old, I feel like I need to get serious about finding a suitable spouse. 

I've always been serious about this subject, but I've lost focus from time to time when faced with challenges, temptation and other obstacles. It's so hard to focus on love when you're constantly worried about bills, money, your health and your career.

I want children. I want a family. I hope to raise children who will become doctors, lawyers, architects, college professors and strong black leaders. I want my children to attend HBCUs and become productive members of their communities. I want my children to be credits to their race. I want them to be strong, solid achievers, who are humble yet confident in their skin and skills.

I want to provide my family with a good solid foundation. I want a nice home with a large yard for my kids. I want my wife to have a rose garden and a swing that we can sit in together as I hold her in my arms while admiring the life we've built together. I want my wife to have diamonds and pearls if those are things she desires. I want my wife to feel secure, supported, safe and loved by me. 

All of the above are dreams.

It is not easy to find, meet and court other black lesbians who share my vision and hope for the future. At times, I'm quite discouraged by the pool of black lesbians I meet here in Atlanta. I honestly don't believe my standards are too high. Instead, I think the culture that surrounds the black community has become noticeably negative and off-putting...especially to those of us who are about our business.

The thought dawned on me recently that I should consider the possibility of adopting and raising children on my own. I swore I would never consider being a single parent, but as I age and desire children, adoption becomes more appealing to me. 

Anyway, these are my thoughts for today.

Monday, May 20, 2013

My Dream of Being A Publisher!


I just got back from Savannah and I'm tired as hell. I'm going to bed after I write this post.

Let me first say I'm not feeling Savannah. I'm definitely not moving there (job or no job). I didn't realize how far I would have to travel through Savannah to reach the beach. It literally took me an additional hour and a half to reach the beach upon arriving in Savannah. I probably should have examined a map because for some reason I thought the beach would be close upon entering Savannah. 

Lesson learned! Savannah is out.

Now that I've made up my mind about Savannah I'm on to the next big thing. For well over a year I've written about my dream of becoming a publisher in some form or fashion. Well, that dream is one step closer to being a reality. 

A week ago I learned it's possible to monetize a blog beyond advertising. Bloggers can offer a subscription to their blog similar to subscriptions offered by print magazines. 

My goal is to create the best damn subscription based blog/magazine for lesbians of color. 

My goal is to recruit lesbians of color from all walks of life to write for my magazine. These individuals will write honest, thought-provoking and provocative articles (similar to my style on this blog) and I will publish those article on my site. For a small fee (10.00 a year, $1.99 a month or .25 an article), you, the reader, will have access to those articles. I'm hoping to publish at least 10-15 articles a day...five days a week.

Right now I'm in the process of recruiting writers and I'm brainstorming the actual design of the blog/magazine. The woman I was planning to hire to design the forum (the forum has taken a backseat to my latest idea) is going to design my blog/magazine. 

My goal is to build an audience while promoting and employing writers. Yes, I do plan to pay my writers. They probably won't get paid until subscriptions start rolling in and our readership grows. However, my people WILL be compensated for their hard work and dedication.

Anyway, if you interested in writing for me send me an email: lezintellect@gmail.com

Also, let me know what you think about this idea.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Whew! Sweet Jesus!


Whew! Sweet Jesus! 

I used to have the biggest crush on Pebbles. Even today she can still get the business.

It is true what they say...black doesn't crack! 

I was watching the clip above, which features Pebbles and The Deele (Babface's group) on Soul Train. Back in the day, when the music business actually required folks to have talent, people like Pebbles used to come through and shut Soul Train all the way down. I was just a child, but I remember those days. I wish we could go back to those days. 

But anyway, I ran across the clip above and I was like gawdamn! Pebbles reminds me of a chick I work with at the bank. The woman looks something like her and she's feisty as hell. Whenever I look at her I think about some hardcore fucking and trust me...if I could I would!

Savannah Might Be In My Future After All


A couple of weeks ago I wrote a blog about my desire to leave Atlanta and move to Savannah. At the time I was being considered for a position as a library manager. Weeks passed and I never heard anything from the recruiter that was interested in me for the position. So, naturally I moved on and took a job with the bank (my current employer). Well, yesterday I received a call from the dean of the school asking me to come to Savannah for another interview.

Me: Umm...okay. 

Him: Can you come Monday?

Me: Sure.

Monday I will be in Savannah for my job interview. I have mixed feelings about this opportunity. 

On one hand, I know I should jump this opportunity because it is in my field and it is a management position.

Savannah is a beautiful city. It is next to the ocean. In my opinion Savannah, is a mixture of my hometown (small and rural) and Atlanta (bigger and cultured).

I can see myself growing old in Savannah. I can see myself raising kids in Savannah. For me Savannah offers calmness. It offers less crime and less traffic. I can have a solid peace of mind in Savannah.

The downside is it also offers more white people (and racism...remember Atlanta is chocolate city), more segregation (though this isn't always a bad thing) and a population full of unattractive country ass people.

I know I'm going to be miserable with the women in Savannah. I can already feel it. The further south you go in Georgia the more the black folks resemble this...


and this...


And I just can't deal with this shit! 

I can see it now. Whenever I want to get laid I''ll be forced to make a trip to Atlanta! Whenever I desire to meet women I will be forced to hit the road and come to Atlanta. With gas as high as it is this just doesn't seem worth it to me.

On the flip side...the lesbians in Atlanta aren't that great either, but at least I have a better chance of finding a decent looking woman here than in south Georgia.

I'm going to sit down and seriously give this situation some thought. Basically, I'm deciding between my personal happiness (my love life) and my professional happiness (my career).

*Sigh*

Why in the world couldn't I just meet a nice woman while I was committed to staying in Atlanta?

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Generation Y & How We Got Screwed


This is probably going to be one of my most thought-provoking rants. This post affects almost everyone born between 1983-2001, which is said to be Generation Y (depending on the source). I'm writing this post because I (like others from my generation) am annoyed as hell about the piss poor economy, job market, housing market and opportunities we've inherited.

The media has done a good job of portraying Generation-Y as the generation that is lazy. According to the media, we are the generation that doesn't want to leave mom and dad's basement. We are the generation that wants everything handed to us. We are the generation that feels entitled to things we haven't worked to achieve. We are the generation that only thinks about ourselves.

The media has given us fancy names like "Generation Me" "Generation 9/11" and "The Millennial Generation." They say we are unwilling to start from the bottom and make our way to the top. They say we want things our way...right away. As far as I'm concerned, all the above is bullshit and I'll tell you why...

When I was finishing college the economy, in this country, was on the verge of collapsing. Every thing was collapsing. The housing industry was collapsing. The automobile industry was on the verge of bankruptcy. This country was losing jobs left and right. Decades of outsourcing (moving jobs to countries with cheaper labor and virtually no labor laws) coupled with the ripple effect of several high profile companies collapsing due to the greed of WHITE men, lead to a non-existent job market that greeted me and millions of other members of Generation-Y as we finished college.

You see we were told to go to college, graduate and get a "good" job. This was pushed into our heads from the time we hit the cradle until the time we entered our first of year college. We were told that once we completed college sky was the limit. A "good" job would be there and we wouldn't have any problem paying off our student loans, buying our first homes and starting a family. In short, we were told a shit load of LIES.

When I finished college I couldn't find a job anywhere. 

There were college educated people, who lost their jobs, standing in line to apply for minimum wage jobs. There were people like me (i.e., those who just finished college) in line right beside them. There were G.E.D. recipients and folks with a high school diploma standing in the same line. There were people who didn't have a high school diploma standing in the same line.

Everyone, no matter their educational level, was standing in the SAME line just to get any old piece of shit of a job. All of these people were competing against each other just to fill 5-8 spots. It was discouraging to say the least. 

If you were a college educated individual you found yourself facing a dilemma you never thought you would face: Either dumb down your resume (i.e., leave off your post secondary education) and lie about your education or keep your education on your resume and watch as the person doing the hiring (usually a manage) looks at you funny when he/she realizes you're more educated than him or her. If you're black, and the person doing the hiring is white and less educated, chances are this scene is even more intense. On the flip side, if you're black, and the person doing the hiring is black and less educated, chances are this scene is possibly equally as intense because truth be told we (black folks) have a crab in the barrel mentality (i.e., perceive other blacks with more than us as a threat and therefore jealousy along with a list of other emotions begin to take over).

At that point it becomes clear to both you and him/her that you won't be sticking around for the long term if something better comes along. The hiring manager doesn't say it, but he/she immediately scratches you off the list. There is no point in hiring and training someone who 1). Won't stick around for the long term and 2). Is threatening to you with their educational background. So, it's back to the unemployment line.

I went through all of the above.

On top of all that, I was living at home with my dad. The situation at home became intense because I was frustrated all the day time (not having any money will make a person crazy) and he was annoying the fuck out of me with his constant demands. I took his shit for a year before I packed up and moved to my grandmother's house, which opened a whole new can of worms.

Grandma didn't ride my back as much as my dad, but she did get on my damn nerves sometimes. Grandma expected me to be the same little girl she helped raise, who was content to sit still in the rural country and watch "the stories" with her. Well, this shit wasn't going to fly. After living in the city of Atlanta for four years I took every opportunity I could get to drive to Atlanta (and usually that opportunity involved a woman I was dating). 

In between all this nonsense, I made a decision to go back to school and pursue my Master's degree. So, I applied and was accepted to a state school in Georgia. My economic situation improved slightly. I was working two part-time jobs, going to school full-time and pocketing a $900.00 monthly check from the government thanks to the VA Educational Benefits I received through my dad's military disability. It was during this time that I learned how to invest in the stock market.

I saved every dime I could save and I applied for every decent job I could find in my field. Eventually I landed a position at a library system in the Atlanta area. Once again, I packed my bags and moved. I've been here ever since. Let me be completely honest...

I worked and struggled my ass off to get what I have today. Truth be told, I didn't get anywhere depending on someone else to hire me. Things didn't begin to fall into place for me until I began publishing my work. That's how I made the bulk of my money. 

The media and our parents fail to realize that this world has CHANGED. 

Generation Y is going to have to work HARDER for the opportunities that our parents had (past tense...their jobs are gone too). Generation Y is graduating from college with more debt than any generation before us. The cost of education has gone up and the benefits have gone down.

Companies have cut salaries, but they now expect their employees to do twice as much work.  Companies have cut jobs and they now expect their current employees to carry twice the load with half the salary. Unions are becoming a thing of the past because with the economy in the toliet companies can simply hire the next struggling simp to do the work that you won't do. With our broke ass immigration laws, cheap labor is now easy to find. Companies have cut pensions and expect employees to save for their retirements from their already mediocre salaries, which are supposed to stretch to pay for food, bills, car notes, health insurance, student loans, child care needs (if applicable) rent/mortgage etc.

It's been said that Generation Y won't see a dime of social security yet we're expected to continue to fund it for the generation that put us in this situation (that would be the baby boomers who are getting ready to retire). I have noticed that more money is being taken out of my check than ever before. Will I see a dime of this money when I'm old? Probably not!

On top of all that, employers are constantly looking for a way to get the most work out of people for the least amount of money. Gone are the days when students could depend on solid internships (whether paid or not) to get their feet in the door. Nowadays employees use interns for legalized slavery. They require them to fetch coffee and do a lot of heavylifting WITHOUT pay. When these students graduate there aren't any jobs lined up for them at the companies they slaved for summer after summer. 

It really is no wonder why SOME members of Generation Y are living at home and show no signs of leaving (my brother is one of those people). It's too damn hard to make it out here. Our parents did a piss poor job sustaining this country and the economy. It is unfair to expect my generation to fork over a chunk of our SMALL paychecks to support these motherfuckers as they retire and draw social security.

Generation Y needs to organize and get all these old ass rich white men out of government. They got to go! They don't give a fuck about us or our future. All this stuff about "Not wanting to pass on the national deceit to my children" is bullshit. It will pass on to us because these rich white folks don't want to pay more taxes. We have a situation in this country where a small percentage of the population controls almost half the wealth. It should NOT be this way.

Until something changes in this country Generation Y will continue to be screwed! If we are going to be forced to carry the burden we should at least be in the driver's seat.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Guest Post/Bloggers Wanted


For the first time since its creation, I'm opening my blog up to guest bloggers. 

I'm interested in hearing some of your stories. Judging from the surveys I've received some of you do have great stories to tell, but you don't have a platform to tell your stories. I'm offering you the opportunity to write a guest post on my blog. 

You can write about anything you want. I just ask that it be personal (goes with the general theme of my blog...i.e., a diary), thought-provoking and REAL. If you want to write a response to one of my post feel free. If you want to write about sex, love and relationships feel free.

You can remain anonymous if you like or you can create a pen name. I will respect your privacy either way.

If you are interested in the opportunity email me: lezintellect@gmail.com

Friday, May 10, 2013

For All You Writers...


I recently became fascinated with black newspapers...and yes, some black newspapers still exist, though they are standing on their last leg (*deep sigh*).

I've been researching the history of black newspapers. Today, I ran across an interesting documentary about black newspapers and I wanted to share it with you.

 I know some of you, like me, love to write. You will probably find this documentary very compelling.

We come from a brilliant race of people. African American history is probably the most compelling history in this country.  It is truly unfortunate that we don't appreciate our own history, organizations and businesses enough to keep them alive. We need to do better!

Enjoy the documentary!

Thursday, May 9, 2013

An Angry Rant About Fake Ass Black Lesbians

The poster child for confused chicks!

Today as I was reading TheRoot.com I came across an article about a black women name Chirlane McCray, who identified as a lesbian back in 1979, but is married to a man in 2013. She is married to a white man, who is running for mayor of New York City. She has been married to him for the last 19 years.

In 1979 the woman wrote a "groundbreaking" (I use the word loosely) article for Essence magazine titled, I Am A LesbianEssence magazine did a follow up with this woman today on their website.

 This is what she said in that article in 1979:
"I discovered my preference for women early," she wrote, "before getting locked into a traditional marriage."
This is what she is saying today about her marriage to a man:
I came out at 17. I hadn't really dated any men. I thought, Whoa, what is this? But I also didn't think, Oh, now I'm attracted to men. I was attracted to Bill. He felt like the perfect person for me. For two people who look so different, we have a lot in common. We are a very conventional, unconventional couple.
Here is what she had to say about the possibility that she is bisexual:
I am more than just a label. Why are people so driven to labeling where we fall on the sexual spectrum? Labels put people in boxes, and those boxes are shaped like coffins. (Lezintellect: WTF? Didn't YOU label YOURSELF a lesbian in the original article???) Finding the right person can be so hard that often, when a person finally finds someone she or he is comfortable with, she or he just makes it work. As my friend Vanessa says, "It's not whom you love; it's that you love."
Now here is my two cents....

I can't fucking stand women like this woman! 

This chick was on some bullshit when she wrote her original article for Essence in 1979. This woman was no more gay than Sheryl Swoops. I'm willing to bet anyone MONEY that this woman's OPTIONS were limited with men in 1979. When this white man came along and smiled at her ass I bet she didn't waste anytime jumping on his dick. 

Let's just be real about it. In all likelihood, black men were not checking for this woman...at all period. And it was more than likely due to her physical appearance. Interracial relationships between black women and white men were declining in 1970s. So that route was out of the question for black women due to racial politics and social pressure from black men. 

I don't doubt this woman felt something for women. My issue is she was clearly BISEXUAL, NOT a LESBIAN. Her article should have been titled, I Am Bisexual.

This is why I put these chicks on mute when they start saying shit like "sexuality is fluid." Nine times out of ten they mean 1). I'm confused as hell and/or 2). I'm bisexual/bicurious. I have yet to meet a lesbian...I mean a REAL lesbian who walks around saying this mess. 

Now I'm happy this woman found some peace and happiness. However, what pisses me off is the reality that people look at HER and say to themselves, "See, they can turn it on and off. Homosexuals aren't born gay. Just look at this woman. Fuck all that nonsense about gay marriage and gay rights." 

They don't see the women like me who have NEVER been with members of the opposite sex. They don't see those of us who have never wavered in our sexuality. They don't see those of us who don't feel a tingle or an itch for members of the opposite sex despite how "charming" they come across. The only people they see is fake ass "black lesbians" like this woman. 

This doesn't just hurt lesbians like me. It also hurts those of you who WANT to come out of the closet. Your homophobic parents, friends and family are looking at people like this woman and using THEM to judge ALL of US. 

I'm sick of this shit. 

I'm seriously considering submitting a response letter to Essence Magazine. Those of us who are tired of being misrepresented in the media by confused women like this woman need to stand up and speak out. 

And I don't give a good gawdamn if this post offends anyone. 

If you are bisexual then be fucking bisexual! 

Stop calling yourselves "lesbians." Stop saying dumb shit like "labels don't define me" when folks like ME point out your inappropriate use of labels (mainly the word LESBIAN).

If you're so against labels then stop labeling yourself LESBIANS! Stop portraying yourselves as the poster children of black lesbianism or lesbianism in general! 

For those of you interested, here is her original article published in Essence Magazine...

Monday, May 6, 2013

My Life At The Moment


I don't have much going on right now. I've been laying low and chilling. I've been doing some reading and some writing (not as much as I would like). 

I'm thinking about starting a forum for black lesbians. I'm still trying to decide whether or not it will be worth the cost. I've been talking to a professional forum designer. From what I gather starting and maintaining a forum is not cheap. 

The license for VBulletin (the software used by most forums) cost $249.00! Then there is the actual cost of the skin (read: custom design) for the forum. The professional forum designer told me I'm looking at paying $1,200 for that! 

Then there is the issue of my domain name, servers and hosting. The professional forum designer offered me some space on her server for $60 a year, but that will only work for so long because if the site grows/becomes popular (as I believe it will), I will need to either look for hosting or a server of my own. Once again, that shit is NOT cheap.

I can't decided whether or not I want the stress and drama associated with running a forum in my life. I'm looking for ways in which the forum can possibly pay for itself. I'm looking at advertising and/or a SMALL membership fee. If I charge a $10.00 YEARLY membership fee will you join the forum?

Hit the poll...

At this very moment I'm watching Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. I don't like this bullshit ass show. However, I have a HUGE crush on Ariane, who I think is fine as HELL!


Where can I find a chick who looks like this with a good solid head on her shoulders? 

Ariane is the smartest, baddest and most likeable character on the show. You can't help but notice her swag because she stands out (along with Rasheeda) from the other chicks on the show. Whenever I see Ariane I just think to myself, "Damn..where can I find a LESBIAN version of her?!?!"

Friday, May 3, 2013

My New Eyesglasses & A Business Opportunity

Today I went to the eye doctor. The doctor told me the problem is my right eye. Apparently, the cornea (or maybe she said the lens...I can't remember which one) is oval and that's not supposed to be the case. The doctor told me it comes from reading and staring at a computer (damn, damn, damn!).  

The doctor told me I have 20/30 vision, which according to her is still good. I don't have to walk around with my glasses on all day. I just need to use them when I'm reading and staring at my computer. 

Can I be honest and admit that I look like a big-headed nerd with my glasses? Yes, I'm serious. 

I have a big ass head and I look super awkward with eyeglasses (or maybe it will take some time for me to get used to them).

The people at Lenscrafters managed to convince me to buy two pairs of eyeglasses (well I didn't buy them...insurance covered one pair and the bank, my employer, took care of the other pair). One pair is more for style (yeah right!) and the other is more conservative. Either way, I'm not really feeling my eyeglasses at the moment. I guess I will have to get used to them because I'm stuck with eyeglasses for life unless I decide to undergo some type of corrective surgery (not likely to happen). 

I might invest in a pair of Cazals and call it a day...

Next...

My last post about Lesbians Who Have Never Been With A Woman got me thinking about creating some type of forum for black lesbians. I've been on a few forums and I think they are a great way for people to meet and mingle. Let's face it...some of us need help mingling. I'm interested in mingling myself because the single life really sucks. So, I'm looking into the pros/cons of creating a forum. 

I can already tell you, the cost associated with creating a REAL forum is off putting. So, I don't suspect it will be a free forum. Perhaps it will require a $10.00 subscription fee, which I think is more than reasonable. Anyway, let me know what you think about the idea. I won't even think about doing it without adequate support from black lesbians. 

If I create a forum and charge a $10.00 membership fee will you participate? Hit the comment section with your answer.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Lesbians Who Have Never Been With A Woman


I receive a lot of emails from women who have NEVER been with a woman in any way, shape or form. These women classify themselves as lesbians (many of them have never been with a man and don't find men attractive), but they have NEVER been with a woman. Most of these women are in their mid-late twenties and they have NEVER been in a relationship with a woman (and some have never been in a relationship with a man either).

I'm not sure if these people are asexual. They seem uncertain about a few things (like HOW to be a lesbian) and they come across as people who are afraid to live their lives. They appear to be the following...
  1. Afraid to pursue or get involved with a woman.
  2. Afraid to accept their sexual orientation.
  3. Unable to meet other lesbians (this is particularly true for black lesbians).
  4. Afraid the outcome of a relationship with a woman may not be what they expected, which will force them to question their sexual orientation.
I completely understand all of the above, but ultimately you have to live your life. 

Other than number three on the list, I can't honestly say I can relate. I've been having sex with grown women since I was a teenager. I've been in relationships with women since I was a teenager. As I stated in another post, my sexual orientation has always been very much apart of me...similar to my race. So, I'm not sure if I'm the right person to ask for advice concerning this topic. The only thing I can say is live your life and stop being afraid to pursue happiness. 

This topic has sparked my curiosity. I believe quite a few lesbians that read this blog have NEVER been intimate with a woman, which is very interesting. Sex does not make a relationship. Sex does not define one's sexual orientation. However, I am curious to know how many of you, who consider yourselves lesbians, have NEVER been intimate with a woman (and by intimate I mean sexual intercourse...not foreplay or dry humping)?

Hit the poll below...

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