Monday, January 28, 2013

A Reminder Of Why I Stopped Talking To This Bitch...

The above video contains three voicemails I received from a woman I talked to from 2009-2011. The voicemails have been stored on my phone since 2010 and I want to get rid of them. I decided to archive her voicemails to remind me why I stopped talking to her. 

I met this woman in 2009 at a club. She is one of several women that were jocking me that night. I don't know what was up in the club that night, but I was pursued by several women, many of which were YEARS older than me. Anyway, I hit it off with this particular woman, who was new to Atlanta. She moved to Atlanta with two of her cousins from New York. We became friends and before long  SHE wanted to be MORE than just friends. 

I had this woman BEGGING to eat my pussy! And honestly, I got an ego boost out of it. It's very easy to get a bighead when a chick is blowing up your head and begging to fuck you! Part of me wanted to watch her eat the box, but my integrity stood in the way of an orgasm. I knew she had it bad for me so I didn't want to fuck up her head. Once you start having sex with a woman the game almost always changes and things get reckless thanks to our emotions.

I blew her off. 

At that point in my life I was battling depression (and you can verify this because I started this blog in 2009) . I tried to let her down gentle, but no matter what I did or said this woman would not take no for an answer. She begged to be with me. She vowed to love me forever. She vowed to wait for me, though I never gave her any indication that I wanted her in that way. 

Long story short, eventually this woman moved on to another chick. I didn't have a problem with her relationship. I was happy just being her friend. However, she still wanted to be with me and she wasn't shy about saying it. I suspect her girlfriend must have sensed her second place position because she began harassing me. 

Her girlfriend would pick up her phone and text me some bullshit like, "Leave my girlfriend alone bitch!" or "Stop texting my girlfriend bitch!"

Mind you, I wasn't the least bit interested in the woman in question and if I was I COULD HAVE HAD HER! 

Her girlfriend at the time was a stud and pushing 40! I was 24/25 years old. I was looking at the situation like, "What the fuck? You're too damn old for this bullshit."

I told this chick she needs to check her girlfriend and tell her to stop texting my phone. She didn't seem the least bit concerned about the situation even though her stud lover was threatening to beat my ass. At that point I took matters into my own hands. 

I started having fun with the heifer! I started telling her lies about how I had her girlfriend calling my name while I was fucking her! I said I fed her after I fucked her. I even mentioned the Chipotle I bought  her when we spent the day together, which she took home with her. I told her she needs to check her chick because she's the one fucking me on the side! I said everything I could think of to piss this woman off. 

Well, I guess her girlfriend must have confronted her about it because the next thing I know I received the first voicemail you hear in the video. 

The situation went on for months until finally I told the woman I was going to call the police on her girlfriend because the woman was stalking me. 

It got so bad that my uncle threatened to snatch the stud off the street just to get her off my back! 

I got tired of all this bullshit and I told this woman to kick rocks. I stopped talking to her and we haven't spoken since. 

As stated, I'm archiving her voicemails to get them off my phone. The sound effect you hear in the video was used to blank out my name. 

I have one regret: I should have fucked this chick just to stick it to her girlfriend! That would have served the bitch right. 


I Swear I Will NEVER Let My Uncle Fix Me Up Again!

If I ever had any doubts that black men will fuck anything they were laid to rest today. Let me officially set the record straight. I truly believe black men will fuck ANYTHING! I don't care if it's a 300 LB white woman or a transsexual, I have seen little in my 27 years to say otherwise... 

Today my uncle called me. This particular uncle is my mother's youngest half-brother on her father's side of the family. He is exactly 10 years older than me. He is my favorite uncle because he is cool as hell! When I say cool, I mean I can go to the strip club with this man and feel completely comfortable. He doesn't judge me and he's completely understanding of my sexuality. 

My uncle is a  womanizer. He has four children by three different women. I have never met two of his children. As far as I know my uncle rarely sees his own children. He had his oldest child when he was in high school by a woman that died in her early twenties. The child they had together was raised by the woman's parents. My uncle married his second babymama and they had two children together. According to my uncle, he only married her because HER parents forced his hand. Last but not least, my uncle recently had a child with a woman he was shacking up with here in Atlanta. 

To make a long story short my uncle uses women. He makes no secret about it. He hooks up with several women and uses them for what he can get out of them (usually money, temporary housing and access to their credit). My uncle is a rolling stone. He changes women like he changes clothes. Where ever he lays his dick at that time is his home!

Most of the women my uncle deals with are BUSTED as fuck. When I say busted I mean UGLY AS HELL! I imagine they must have low self-esteem because my uncle isn't even the most handsome man in the world, and he doesn't have shit to offer a woman. Yet they let him run all over them. 

Anyway, my uncle called me today...

Me: Hello?

Uncle: Hey niece, what are you doing?

Me: Watching TV.

Uncle: Cool. You know how you're always telling me to hook you up with a bad chick?

Me: Yeah. 

Uncle: Well, I found you someone and she got a phat ass! Damn this chick's ass is phat! You'll like her. 

Me (Interested): What she look like?

Uncle: I'mma send you a picture. Her ass is phat!

Me: Where did you meet her?

Uncle: I was trying to spit game to her, but she said she like pussy. I'mma send you a pic in five minutes.

Me: Okay. 

The call ended. Thirty minutes later (this kneegrow is never on time for anything) the picture arrives....

Yes, this is the pic he sent me. I blurred her face to hide her identity. 

Me: (Face palm, and talking to myself): Man, what the fuck?!? 

A few thoughts that went through my mind while staring at this woman's picture...
  1. Why in the hell would you send someone, a complete stranger, a booty shot? First impressions are LAST impressions. Where is this broad's self-respect?
  2. Her ass really isn't that phat. If anything she needs to hit a stairmaster because she got a serious case of cellulite. 
  3. Damn her face is ugly. 
  4. Her weave is two different colors! WTF?!?
  5. This is the last time I let my uncle fix me up with a woman. Ugh!
  6. To my uncle this woman is probably a 10 (I'm going by the women he usually pulls), but to me she is just another hoodrat!
When I spoke to my uncle later I gave him a piece of my mind...

Me: That's okay...I'm not interested. 

Uncle (surprised): Why? She's tight!

Me: Maybe in your world, but she is NOT my type. 

Uncle: You're too picky.

Me: Damn right. I don't need help finding a thirsty hoodrat. I can find one of those myself! I mean damn...c'mon son!

Uncle (chuckle): Yeah...okay!

Never again will I let this man fix me up. NEVER!

For those of you wondering, this is what a nice phat toned ass looks like...

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Survey: I Want To Know What You Think About This Blog

I want to know what you think about this blog. I get a lot of emails from women all over the world and I'm curious about the demographics of my readers. To satisfy my curiosity I put together a survey, which is completely voluntary. Your responses will not be shared and your information is confidential.  Again, I want to know what you think about this blog. If you're interested in taking the survey click THIS LINK. Thanks for your feedback.

Friday, January 25, 2013

I Gotta Be Honest: Transgender People Confuse Me!

This is one of those topics I try to avoid. I don't understand transgender people. Political correctness says I'm supposed to understand and accept them. After all, I am gay. However, I don't understand a damn thing about them. 

A big part of me believes transgender people are mentally ill. You have to be mentally off to drastically change your gender, right? 

Another part of me believes they should be accepted just like the rest of us. Whether we agree with their choice or not, transgender people have a right to live. They have a right to happiness. They have a right to pursue happiness. If changing their gender makes them happy, more power to them. 

As a woman that loves women, I have never thought to myself, "Damn, I wish I had a dick!" I have never wanted to change my sex. I like my pussy and I like eating pussy. I like my breast and I like my ass. Nothing about a dick appeals to me. The thought of being with a man repulse me. So, I can't imagine changing my gender to be a man.

One of the stereotypes associated with lesbians is we secretly want to be men. That is complete bullshit! I love being a female and I'm sure it's the same for MOST lesbians (though I admit there are some exceptions). Most of us don't have a desire to be men. 

Most of the transgender folks I have run across in my life have been MEN who want to be WOMEN. I don't know what it is about MEN, but a lot of these motherfuckers DON'T want to be men anymore. They walk around in heels, skinny jeans (or as I call them "Dick Huggers"), makeup, fake eyelashes, bras...all kinds of feminine nonsense. 

In past, I could look at a man dressed like a woman and tell he was a man. They were cross-dressers...not transgendered. That is not the case anymore. Nowadays, I have a hard time recognizing transgendered men because they've had surgery to become women. A few questions come to mind when I come across these people...
  1. If you were born a man and you like women are you now a gay woman? Or do you now like men? Does your sexuality change after you change your gender?
  2. If you were born a man and you had a successful career as a man what happens to your career once you become a woman?
It's probably important to note here that SOME transgender people are NOT gay before they make the change. Quite a few of these people are involved in heterosexual relationships, but they hate being male or female for whatever reason.

I don't understand what makes people want to change their gender. I also don't get why some of these people look better as the opposite sex once they make the change. I've run across quite a few transgendered "women" who look better as women than they did as men. These people also look better than alot of women who were born women! The shit is sad when I think about it.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The White Man's Concubine? Umm...No!

Quentin Tarantino & Nicole Galicia W Magazine

My first thought upon seeing this picture was "DAMN! Quentin Tarantino is winning!"

He is dressed like Hugh Hefner. A beautiful black woman is naked and draped all over him. His left hand is resting on her ass and a smug look glows from his face. Quentin Tarantino is not an attractive man, but he is obviously an Alpha male. Attractive women probably flock to him because he is living a fantasy that appeals to them. That fantasy includes glamour, glitz, and money. 

The black woman in the picture is the same woman that played "Sheba" in his film Django Unchained. She is FINE as hell both on and off the screen. In this picture she is wearing a look that screams "Come get me!"

Next thought: Niggas are going to lose their fucking minds when they see this picture!

I can already imagine the contradictory comments I will read on blog sites: 

Fuck Quentin Tarantino! (insert fake indignation) How dare this motherfucker exploit the image of black women! This white nigga ain't got no business taking a picture with a black woman...especially one that damn fine!  
As for the black bitch in the picture, she ain't nothing but a nigger bed wench...the white man's concubine. The hoe ain't even that fine! Black women ain't shit. Y'all bitches would lay up with the white man after everything he's done to the black man and your ancestors. He used to rape your ancestors. Y'all bitches ain't shit. 

The nonsense is almost comical. 

It is annoying as hell when black men jump up and call black women, who get with white men, concubines. Truth be told black men have demoted black women collectively to concubines. Don't believe me? Let's take a look at the definition of the word concubine...
Concubine (noun): A woman with whom a man cohabits without being married: as 
  • One having a recognized social status in a household below that of a wife
  • Mistress
Color me dumb, but doesn't that definition fit the cohabitation we see happening in the black community? So, how dare black men quack their lips to call anyone a concubine! Their false outrage and hypocrisy makes it clear that black women CAN be concubines to BLACK MEN. Black women simply cannot be concubines to WHITE MEN. Next...

In today's world black women willingly have sex with white men. Black women willingly marry and love white men. People need to accept that and stop getting pissed off when they see a black woman with a white man. Today's white men shouldn't be blamed for slavery. They didn't rape black women. Next...

People are claiming the picture above would never happen with a black man and a white woman. It has happened with black men and white women. It's BEEN happening with black men and white women...

Please learn to be consistent folks! I rest my case with this issue. Next...

Quentin and Nicole's picture is NOT an example of the media's exploitation of ALL black women. Exploitation, in my opinion, can only take place when there is a victim involved. Nicole is a WILLING participate in the picture. No one forced her to take the picture. She made a conscious decision to put her naked body on blast. This photo doesn't make her anyone's concubine! Whether or not SHE views her nude shot with Quentin as exploitation is a mystery at this point. However, I do wish people would stop using shit like this to scream exploitation of ALL black women. Nicole Galicia does not represent ALL black women. She represents herself!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Black Female Athletes & Sex Appeal Or Lack Thereof

I'm going to keep it 100 with this post. Most well-known black female athletes are unattractive. As a black woman I feel guilty for feeling this way, but as a lesbian who LOVES women (especially black women) I can say it with a straight face. I don't find most well-known black female athletes attractive.

Most black female athletes I have seen look like men with wigs, weaves and braids. They typically come across as masculine. It's not just their physiques that reek of masculinity. No, their body language, features and the way they carry themselves scream masculinity to me.

It's not surprising that a lot of female athletes, regardless of race, are gay. A lot of them look like men. I know it's sexist to say this, but can you honestly say I'm lying???

How many feminine black female athletes do you know? I don't know very many.

How many masculine black female athletes do you know? I know quite a few and almost all of them are either gay or in the closet.

Do you remember when all hell broke loose after LoLo Jones (the biracial chick in the middle of the picture) was attacked by her two teammates, Dawn Harper and Kellie Wells, because they didn't appreciate the media hype surrounding LoLo Jones? If you missed that story you can read about it here.

Some people in the black community tried to say Dawn Harper and Kellie Wells were overlooked by the media because they are dark-skinned. They tried to say LoLo Jones was put on a pedestal because she is biracial or "light-skinned." Not surprisingly most people on the internet (judging from the comments I read on various blogs) agreed that Dawn Harper and Kellie Wells were discriminated against because they are dark-skinned. These people seemingly missed all the great dark and brown-skinned female athletes that have been media favorites...
In my opinion Dawn and Kellie were discriminated against by the media. However, they weren't discriminated against based on their skin tone. Instead they were discriminated against because they are the following:
  1. Ugly as hell 
  2. Ratchet as hell 
  3. Unmarketable (somebody should have told these two they wouldn't gain any endorsements by bashing fellow teammates and rocking purple hair...this shit screams ghetto). 
LoLo Jones isn't any of the above. She has a clean polished imagine. She isn't walking around with PURPLE HAIR. To my knowledge she hasn't thrown shade at anyone...let alone a fellow teammate (though I do believe she issued a response to Dawn and Kellie). She is a good-looking woman with a spotless reputation. Most of all LoLo Jones has a good team behind her, who did a good job putting her name in the media.

The most ACCLAIMED black female athletes have been either dark or brown-skinned. Therefore, claims of colorism don't hold weight...not in regards to sports.

In an ideal world Dawn Harper and Kellie Wells would get the same shine as LoLo Jones. However, we live in a world where beauty is not created equally and apparently neither is class (referring to their unnecessary attack on LoLo). Dawn Harper and Kellie Wells are not attractive women. Unfortunately, most black female athletes I have seen look something like Dawn Harper and Kellie Wells.

There are SOME exceptions to the rule...

Dominique Dawes: The definition of FINE
I LOVE me some Dominique Dawes. This woman gets better with age. I still remember watching her do her thing in gymnastics when I was a kid. I used to fantasize about her doing splits butt-naked!

Sanya Richards-Ross: Sexy As Hell!

I watched Sanya Richards-Ross win her gold medal at the 2012 summer olympics and I've been in love with her ever since. She has a great smile and an awesome body! The woman just screams sexy!

Last but not least....

Florence Griffith-Joyner: The G.O.A.T (Greatest of All Time)
Florence Griffith-Joyner was (R.I.P) the BEST black female athlete ever! She had it all. She had looks, style, grace...and she was the fastest woman to ever hit a track (a record she still holds).

Flo Jo, as she was nicknamed, was the woman that put black female athletes on the map in terms of endorsements and being seen as sex symbols. She was known for her nails and one-legged tracksuits...

This woman OOZED sex appeal. Just looking at her thigh muscle gives me chills. I swear if more black female athletes looked like Flo Jo I would actually watch more sports! If you have any doubts this was the baddest chick in the game check out this video...

I cried when Flo Jo died. I'm starting to tear up just writing this post. Fuck what the haters say! May Florence Griffith Joyner rest in peace. 

Anyway, that's my rant for today. Don't hate me for being honest. 

Friday, January 18, 2013

My Relationship With My Two Brothers Part Two: My Older Brother

This blog has been a long time coming. I wrote about my relationship with my younger brother back in July 2012. I avoided writing about my relationship with my older brother because it's too damn painful and depressing. In all honesty I don't have a relationship with my older brother. I haven't seen or spoken to him in over a year. The last time I saw him was Thanksgiving Day 2011. He doesn't call me and I don't call him. We aren't beefing or anything. That's just the type of relationship we have at this point. Yeah it's sad as hell and I'm partially indifferent about it, but there are times I wish we had some type of relationship. 

My big brother is two and half years older than me. My mother had him while she was still in high school. We don't share fathers. My brother has never met his biological father. I've only heard my brother comment on his father once in my life and that was in a fit of rage (I'll come back to this later). I will not discuss my brother's father on this blog. It's one of the few things that bothers me too much to mention on this blog. 

My father came into the picture when my brother was one and a half years old. My dad and my mom hooked up and I came into the world in 1985. I was born out of wedlock, just like my older brother. My younger brother came along in 1987 and my parents married sometime shortly after his birth. 

I honestly believe if my father hadn't entered the picture my brother would be successful in life. My dad loves me and my younger brother, his flesh and blood, but he HATED my older brother. He hated him with a burning passion. No doubt you've seen these step-parents who mistreat and abuse their step-children. Well, that was my father times ten. Don't believe me? Let me give you an example...

I sometimes think about an incident from my childhood. It's pretty damn hard to forget. I was five years old at the time. My older brother and I were playing a game when he hit me in the face. He must have hit me hard because I fell over crying. I was laying on the floor boo-hooing when my dad walked into the room. 

Dad: "Insert my name" what's wrong?!?

Me: "Insert my brother name" hit me in the face. 

At that moment I looked over at my brother who looked terrified. Then I looked at my daddy, who was staring at my brother with a pissed off expression on his face. 

Dad: "Insert my name" get up. 

I didn't move. So my dad pulled me to my feet. 

Dad: (To my brother): You sit your ass right there. 

My dad pulled me over to where my brother sat on the bed. 

Dad: (To Me): Hit him back. 

Me: (Confused as hell): Huh?

Dad: Hit him back. 

I raised my little five year old hand and gave my brother a quick slap on the leg. That didn't please my father. He stood over me and grabbed my arms. 

Dad: "Insert my name" clutch your hands into a fist. 

I did as I was told. 

Dad: (To my brother): Don't you move. 

I looked up at my brother who began to cry. He must have sensed what was coming. My mother was at work so no one was coming to intervene. 

With my hands clutched in fist and my father standing over me holding my arms, he proceed to put the force behind my five year old fist. The first punch landed on my brother's nose. Blood gushed out and landed on the bed. 

Dad: Hit him again! 

My dad pulled my arm back and another punch landed on my brother's face. This continued for at least ten minutes. 

My brother didn't move an inch. He just cried silently. The shit didn't end until I began to scream, cry and pull away from my dad. When it was over my dad went back into his bedroom and watched television as if nothing happened. 

The memory of that incident has stayed in my mind and tormented me ever since. I believe the main reason black men in general leave a bad taste in my mouth is because of my father. I've written about him before on this blog. He did a lot of fucked up shit when I was growing up. 

When I confronted my dad about the bullshit he did to my older brother he blamed it on the military. He said, "The military screwed me up." 

Me: You blame the military for the abuse you inflicted on a child?!? You were a grown ass man fighting a child! "Insert my brother's name" never had a chance in life because you treated him like shit from age 2 to age 15!  What the hell did he ever do to you?

Things went on like that in our household until my older brother was 15 years old. At that point he started fighting back. I remember watching the fist fights between him and my dad. I used to call the police to break it up. My mother was always working and often times it was just my dad, me and my two brothers. All hell would break in our house. If these domestic violence incidents made it to court my father would convince my mother to convince my older brother to lie on his behalf. I try not to judge my mother anymore, but I imagine she did it because it's hard for a woman to raise three children completely on her own. At the time she probably thought she needed my dad. I wrote about her HERE

Eventually it reached a point where my brother would run the streets and not come home. From what I understand he joined a gang and that gang took care of him. He began selling drugs and eventually he dropped out of school. 

At the time I couldn't wrap my 12/13 year old mind around my brother's actions. I even blamed him for quitting school and becoming a thug. However, looking back now it's wasn't all his fault. Yes, he made his own decisions in life, but who knows what kind of life he might have had if he didn't have to fight off a grown ass man almost everyday since the age of two. 

Eventually my mother did leave my father. Once my brother got his freedom he completely lost his mind. He became a full-fledge thug with no remorse. He stole money, he sold drugs, he did drugs and just became a menace to society. Though he wasn't violent (to my knowledge) he simply stopped giving a fuck about leading a good productive life. 

Fast forward...

I remember coming home from college back in 2006. My mother, me and my two brothers were sitting in the living room. I don't know how the conversation started but we began talking about my dad. My brother flew into a blind rage. He went into a rant about how he hated my father and how he never had a chance at life thanks to my dad and truthfully our mother who turned a blind eye to his pain. 

That was the first time I truly took time out to understand my brother.

I burst into tears and cried my heart out right there in front of him. I apologized for not being more understanding of his plight though at that point it was too late. The damage was done. My brother said he felt like I turned my back on him. 

It was true. 

At some point I did turn my back on him and write him off as a bum (something I actually called him to his face at one point). But then again, I was dealing with my own issues and depression. Like him, I was just a kid when all this shit went down. I was just as powerless as him. I could no more understand what was going through his head than my own.

The damage is done. 

My father did try to make things right with my brother. He bought my niece, my brother's first born child, some clothes and gave them to my mother. My brother accepted them.

My brother and I will never be close. I accept that. He has a white babymama and two kids. He seems happy and I'm happy for him. 

Thursday, January 17, 2013

My Favorite Song & Yellow Bone

Yesterday I sat alone in my apartment completely in the dark. The only thing that was on was my MP3 player. The Stylistics' You Are Everything was on repeat. I reclined in my recliner, closed my eyes and the first image that came to mind was that of Yellow Bone. I miss her. I miss her a lot. 

Whenever I listen to this song she comes to mind. It's been my favorite song since I was 12 years old. Every woman that has been significant to me has danced to this song in my mind. For some strange reason I never think about them and this song until AFTER they are no longer in the picture. Well anyway, I guess it's Yellow Bone's turn to dance around in my mind in connection with this song. 

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Fat Black Chicks

I'm not writing this blog to make anyone feel bad about themselves. This blog is based on my observations and my taste in women. Black women as a collective are FAT. Most are overweight and SOME are obese as hell. Here in Atlanta, those in the black lesbian population, tip the scale as OBESE. To my frustration it is rare that I run across a black lesbian that is slim with curves to match. The few that are slim look like little flat chested middle school boys and the few that have curves also typically have children (yes, these are the chicks who have had their back blown out by some reckless...often times no longer in the picture negro). That leaves an undesirable pool of fat ass women. 

Sigh...I find myself staring at white girls. I try not to do it, but I can't help it. Physically, they keep themselves on point...while they are young. The white chicks here are also coming with booty these days. I run across more physically attractive white lesbians than I do black lesbians. This shit makes me sad. 

How the hell will I find my BLACK wife in a pool full of unattractive fat asses?

I don't want a big woman. I don't want a heavyset woman. I like some breast, ass and thighs but I don't want a woman who is one doughnut away from being fat as hell.

Black women as a group need to do better. I'm far from skinny myself, but I am an active person. I lead an active life. Simply eating healthy and drinking water can keep your weight in check. Walking thirty minutes a day will keep your weight in check.

I don't understand why so many black women simply let themselves go. Part of me believes it's due to economics, but then I think about all the black female professionals I know. Just about all them are overweight. It doesn't matter if a chick is hoodrat from Bankhead or a corporate sister from Buckhead it's the SAME shit.

Another part of me believes it might be due to black men's low socio-economic status. Women who are trying to please men and pull a husband keep themselves on point. The fact that black men are so low on the totem pole might be why so many black women just say "fuck it." Poor men can't be picky in their pool of women. However, men with economic power can demand better quality women.

I don't know what it is, but something needs to change. Seriously!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Wanted: Twenty-Something Year Old Childless Feminine Black Lesbian

A friend suggested I post an ad on a dating site like I said HELL NO. I don't do dating sites. However, I don't mind posting an ad right here on my blog!!! 


If the right woman comes along we can get to know each other. If we click...great. If not...we can still be friends.

Here goes...

I am a twenty-seven year old black lesbian currently located in Atlanta. I'm 5 feet 4 inches tall. I'm not fat and I'm not skinny. I'm average in regards to weight. I have the infamous coke bottle shape. My skin is a tan caramel color. I have large almond shaped hazel eyes (in fact people tend to notice my eyes immediately). My hair is jet black (though it is beginning to gray slightly). I currently rock a thick Afro, but I tend to cut my hair completely off when I get tired of it.

Physically I'm a feminine tomboy. I hate wearing dresses, but I will wear one if needed. I am a casual dresser. I love peacoats, trench coast, dress pants, vans shoes, satin shirts, vest, oxford style shirts, polos and suspenders. I love perfume and I like to smell good.

My occupation: By trade I'm a librarian. I hold a Master's degree. I'm currently applying to Georgia State University where I hope to pursue my PhD. I have two passions in life: Writing and Genealogy. I've been writing since I was ten years old. The only thing standing between me and my professional career as a writer is myself (it's a long story). 

I don't have any kids. However, I do want at least two kids sometime in the NEAR future. I believe I'm family orientated though, truthfully I didn't have the best family life growing up. I'm very close to my grandmother and I credit her with raising me into the woman I am today. 

What I'm looking for in a woman...

My ideal woman is BLACK. I don't have anything against other races but I can only see myself having children with a BLACK woman. She needs to be childless. She must desire to have children with her partner one day. 

Physically, I love women shorter than me. I will date someone that's about the same height as me, but I'm not really attracted to women taller than me. I don't care about skin tone or hair...I just ask that she have herself together physically (smell good, look good, clean image, hair done). I'm not crazy about weave, but I can live with it if it's clean and neat. 

I'm not attracted to fat women. This is not to be confused with black women who have a slim waist, perky fully breast and a phat ass. I love curves. I love these chicks! I don't date women who are wide and round.

I don't date studs or masculine women. 

In terms of education, my ideal woman will at least have a bachelor's degree. She needs to have some type of career goals. At this point (late twenties) I'm thinking she should have a career or working towards getting one. I like a woman that can hold a conversation and debate me. So, education is important to me. 

She needs to be family orientated. 

Sex. What can I say? I love it. She needs to love it too. 

I like a woman with a sassy attitude. She needs to hold her own with me! 

She needs to be funny, silly and goofy. I like a woman with a sense of humor.

Location: I'm not interested in a long distance relationship. She needs to be in Atlanta or a surrounding city. 

I LOVE a feminine woman. I like 'girly' women. 

Age range: She needs to be between 25-30. 

Last but not least, I'm looking for a woman that will rub my shoulders when I'm having a bad day. I'm looking for someone that gets me. I'm looking for a woman that will kiss me and tell me "Baby, it's going to be okay."

Dammit if you're that woman email me:

Do not waste my time if you don't fit all of the above!

P.S. Anything else you want to know about me can be found on this blog. Read my archives. 

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

I Feel Bad: Yellow Bone Walked In On Me Fucking Another Chick

Late last night Yellow Bone walked in on me fucking another chick. Yellow Bone and I aren't together anymore. I know I don't have a reason to feel bad, but I do feel bad. Let me start from the beginning...

Four days ago Yellow Bone called and told me she was going to drop off the key I gave her to my apartment along with the access key to the gate surrounding the property. She said she would come through Tuesday night. She didn't say what time. When Tuesday came around I forgot she was coming.

I have a new friend from California. She's been in my life for the past six months. She is from California and this chick is bad as hell. She is slim. She dresses her ass off. She rocks a Ceasar. She has a very pretty face. Physically she reminds me of caramel version of Amber Rose. That will be her nickname on this blog...Caramel.

I met Caramel on the job. She and I clicked and we've kicking it as FRIENDS ever since. Yellow Bone and I used double date with Caramel and her girlfriend. Her girlfriend is one of those chicks I described in THIS blog (the flat chested middle school age little boy looking type). A month ago said girlfriend, who is in the military, was shipped to Afghanistan. She will be there for a year. 

After Yellow Bone and I broke up Caramel came over to my apartment. We discussed my break up with Yellow Bone. Then she caught me by surprise...

Caramel: If you ever want someone to kick it with I'm here. 

I stared her for a while trying to decide what she meant by "kick it." Then I came right out and asked her...

Me: Do you mean kick it is as in 'Hey let's go check out a movie' or do you mean kick it as in 'You can get it if you want it.'

Caramel: (Smile) Both!

I never planned to get it. However, last night I was horny as fuck. I wanted some pussy. I picked up the phone and called Caramel. She came over and we got down to some grown folks business! 

Yes, I know the chick has a girlfriend who is overseas serving our country. Yes, I feel bad about it. This is the first time I've ever fucked a chick that is unavailable. And yes, I feel like a slut. Yes, I know this shit is mad disrespectful, against my better judgement and against my own principles and morals.

My rationale is as follows: It's two people in their relationship...and I'm not one of them. 

I just wanted to fuck. I'm not looking to start a relationship with this woman. Sex, sex and more sex is all I want from her. When her girlfriend comes back I'm probably going to get my ass kicked if she ever finds out. The military bitch might TKO my ass. I don't have the nerve to smile in her face knowing I was fucking her girl while she was away. However, in my opinion she needs to check her chick...not me. She put it out there and I took it.

Well, anyway Yellow Bone let herself in the front gate and used the key I gave her to get into my apartment. Keep in mind I live in a studio. Once she turned the corner she came face to face with me getting ready to nut! As I recall Uhh Ahh by Boyz II Men was blasting from my ipod (number 5 on my "fuck" playlist), which is why I didn't hear Yellow Bone, who later said she knocked before using the key.

I had Caramel's nipple in my mouth when I looked up and saw Yellow Bone staring at us with her mouth wide open.

Me: Oh shit!!!

Caramel turned around, saw Yellow Bone, and immediately moved to cover herself. 

Yellow Bone didn't say a word. She shook her head, gave me a disgusted look and laid the keys down on the bed. And then she left. 

I've been feeling bad about it all day. When I came home from work I called Yellow Bone. To my surprise she picked up. 

Yellow Bone: I'm not mad at you. I'm just disappointed. I didn't think you were the type to sleep with your friends...especially those who have a girlfriend. 

Me: (Long Sigh) 

Yellow Bone: What you do and who you do it with is none of my business. We're not together you!

Even though she was nonchalant about the whole thing over the phone I know it bothered her to see me screwing another chick. I saw the expression on her face when she walked in on me and Caramel. This shit is probably going to come back to haunt me one day.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Black Women Black Men & The Television Show "Scandal"

Scandal, the ABC television show, is the latest craze amongst black women. Everybody is talking about Scandal. People are trowing Scandal parties and everything here in Atlanta. I'm not going to lie. I watch and enjoy the show. The show is full of suspense, action and drama. In my opinion it's probably the best show Shonda Rhimes has ever created. It's definitely the best show show on television right now.

The main character on Scandal is Olivia Pope played by actress Kerry Washington. Olivia Pope is smart, educated, slim, single, childless, beautiful and she dresses her ass off. In short, she is the perfect black woman. She is a GOOD representation of what black women in this country CAN be if we put in some effort (meaning avoid becoming a stereotype and a statistic). However, there is one catch...

Olivia is in love with Fitz, the WHITE president of the United States. And this to many (mainly BLACK MEN) makes the character Olivia a no good Jezebel. In their eyes this character is disgusting and not worthy of being on television. In their eyes she is the worse type of black woman: The type that lays down with a white man...the archenemies of the black man. In their eyes any black woman that loves this show, Kerry Washington, Shonda Rhimes or the relationship between Olivia Pope and Fitz is a white man worshiping whore (real talk those are the comments I've been reading), who wants to be exploited by white men. 

Here are the problems with their logic: 

  1. Fitz is also in love with Olivia Pope. This man burst into tears while viewing photographs of Olivia with other men.  He hates his wife and wishes he could divorce her and be with Olivia. Fitz said in one episode he wants to be impeached so he can be with Olivia. These two are clearly in love with each other. Olivia broke up with Fitz...not the other way around. Fitz was distraught after she broke is heart. Olivia is far from Sally Hemmings as some morons have declared. The FAKE outrage from black men due to the supposed exploitation of black women at the hands of white men is unfounded in this situation.
  2. On just about every major black "reality" television show there is a black man jumping from one woman to the next, playing two women against each other, juggling several babymamas etc. Yet I don't ever hear a hint of criticism from black men about this bullshit. If any criticism is put forth it's usually against the women for being hoodrats, hoochies, hoes and babymamas. Nevermind the reality that the one common denominator here is the BLACK MAN. Where is the motherfucking outrage at this nonsense? Where is the outrage at this exploitation of black women? Where the outrage at the stereotypical behavior of the BLACK MEN at the center of these shows???
  3. Due to number 2 one can conclude that black men feel they should have a monopoly on the exploitation of black women. It's perfectly fine for black men to use, abuse and make black women babymamas instead of wives, but it's not okay for black women to be the FICTIONAL mistresses of white men on SCRIPTED television. This is exploitation at it's finest! Get the fuck out of here!
I'm sick and tired of stupid niggas!  

The MAIN reason black men dislike the show Scandal is because they hate to see a black woman with her shit together in the arms of a white man.

They don't give a shit about the supposed exploitation of black women.

They fear this show might be the show that opens the door to black women being seen as desirable, passionate, beautiful women worthy of love, respect, relationships and marriage.

They fear this show might encourage black women and white men to seek each other for love and romance.

They fear this show might spark interracial friendships amongst black women and non-black men (I believe black women are some of the most isolated people on the face of the planet...socially. This works to black men's benefit. The last thing they want is for black women to go mainstream).

They fear black women with themselves together might come to see that black men aren't their only option.

They fear white men might discover that black men ARE NOT the first, last and only choice for a large number of black women. If given opportunity I personally believe a lot of black women would drop black men and jump ship.

It comes down to sexual competition.

For so long black men have had a monopoly on black women. Now, slowly but surely, things are beginning to change. And yes, the media does play a part in it. The media helps create and change beauty standards. The media promotes certain things and the next thing we know it's the next big thing. Don't believe me? Notice that NBC now has a show called Deception staring another beautiful black woman: Megan Goode. I sincerely doubt this show would have been picked up by NBC if not for Scandal becoming an overnight sensation.

Black women, a certain segment of black women, are coming into vogue and that scares the shit out of black men. Scandal disproves the shit they tell themselves. For a long time a certain segment of the black male population has been spewing the lie that ALL black women are undesirable and unwanted. They contrasted this with their perception of their desirability amongst non-black women. 

Their self-esteem weighed heavily on their belief that they, as black men, can hook up with any race of women on the planet while they deemed black women undesirable and unwanted by all races of men. Now that things are changing and black women and white men are becoming more vocal about their willingness to date each other these bitches are mad as fuck! They are plotting, schemeing and searching for ways to discourage these unions.

They try to speak for non-black men and say "Non-black men aren't interested in black women" while ingoring the reality that every non-black man doesn't have to be interested in black women. If only 1% of non-black men are interested in black women that will take care of the entire black female population in the United States.

They start "talking black" and saying shit like, "We need to work on re-building the black family."

They start trying to shame black women with shit like, "White men raped your ancestors back in the day."

They try to create some false black unity with shit like, "Why would you want to be with a white man after all the shit he does to black men? You need to stand behind black men."

All of ^^^this gas lighting is beginning to fall on deaf ears and I think black men can sense it.  According to statistics black women/white men are the fastest growing interracial union. Studies have shown this is also the longest lasting interracial union.

The chickens are coming home to roost.

Like, I said before, I don't have an issue with interracial all period. Folks just need to be smart when getting involved with people outside of their race (referring to the transferring of resources). Scandal is a great show. I will continue to watch this show. Fuck anyone that has something to say about it.

I've been a Kerry Washington fan since that smoking hot lesbian scene from the film She Hate Me and I will continue to be a fan. Long live Olivia and Fitz!

Monday, January 7, 2013

I'm Single & I Hate It

I'm single and I hate it. I forgot what being single in Atlanta means for a progressive black lesbian. It means virtually no possibility of dating other progressive black lesbians. Sigh...I'm slipping into depression. 

Yesterday I had a conversation with my aunt. I was in the middle of finishing my graduate school application when she called. 

Me: Can you believe my high school class reunion is coming up? Damn I can't believe it's been ten years since I graduated high school. I'm going to be 28 years old this year.

Aunt: Yeah. Have you thought out about how you're going to have children? Are you planning to carry them? You still don't date women with children right?

Me: I want children, but I don't want to be a single parent. As far as carrying them...I don't know about all that. And hell no...I still don't date women with children. 

The whole conversation made me depressed as fuck.

I'm back to fearing I might never have children. I am against bringing children into this world as a single parent. It goes against everything I believe. So, if I cannot find the right woman I will not have any children. This is why I'm depressed as hell. I'm starting to believe I might end up a childless spinster.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Hmm....I'm Thinking About Creating A Podcast

On Christmas Yellow Bone presented me with a new Sony mp3 tape recorder and said, "So, you don't have to type your blogs anymore..."

At first, I was against using the tape recorder, but now I'm exploring the possibility of creating my own weekly podcast. 

I have never done a podcast and to be honest the thought of doing one kinda scares me. I have been told I have a great voice. I have a very young girlish voice. However, I also have a thick southern accent. I'm not sure how well that will go over with listeners.

Now that I'm open to the idea of a podcast I started thinking about topics I want to speak on. It would be awesome if I could record my interactions with women now that I'm officially single. I'm planning to screw my property manager some time in the near future (yes, you read that right). Wouldn't it be awesome if I could record her moans and groans??? (Kidding!...Maybe!)

I wonder how that would go over with my listeners? 

Anyway, tell me what you think. Are you interested in listening to me rant on a podcast once a week? 

Hit the poll...

Friday, January 4, 2013


Life is funny sometimes. On New Year's Eve I asked Yellow Bone to marry me. She stared at me for a long moment before finally saying, "No." 

Me: No?

Yellow Bone: No...because I don't think we're ready for marriage.

I'm not sad, hurt or angry. Since I only plan to get hitched once I refuse to do the deed with someone who is not ready for marriage (although...she said "we" are not ready for marriage).

For the last few days I've been walking around in a haze. I need to re-evaluate some things. Yellow Bone and I are over...again. This time it was amicable because we both agreed to take some time off from each other. 

I'm not happy living in Atlanta and I want to relocate. My lease is up and I haven't signed the new one yet (it's currently sitting on my kitchen counter). The writing appears to be on the wall for me...

Relocation is in my future. I need a fresh start.
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