Friday, August 10, 2012

Maybe It's The Guilt Eating Away At Me

Today I sent Yellow Bone the edible arrangement pictured above. Tomorrow morning she's going home to Detroit to visit her family. She will be gone for a week. I included this note with the edible arrangement...

Have a safe trip! Call me after you've made it to Detroit so I know you arrived safely. 
"Insert My Name"
After she received the edible arrangement she sent me a text message that read:

Thank you for the beautiful edible arrangement boo! I will miss you. I will call ASAP. I love you!

One of the reasons I sent the edible arrangement is because I feel guilty. I've fallen for another woman and there is nothing I can do about it. Yellow Bone is going to be hurt regardless and I'm hoping to soften the blow. I do care for her deeply. I don't want to see her hurting...least of all over me. 

I feel guilty as hell. That guilt cuts like a knife every time I hear Yellow Bone say, "I love you." 

Her week away is a blessing in disguise because it will give me time to decide when/how to break up with her. I already decided she doesn't need to know about the other woman. I don't want a replay of the scene we had the last time I broke up with her so I'm going to proceed with caution this time. I just hope she and I can be friends after everything is said and done.
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