Monday, July 2, 2012

Putting Diamonds On Her Fingers

Putting Diamonds On Her Fingers 
The picture above is the 1/2 CT. diamond ring I purchased for Yellow Bone from Zales. It is 10k white gold. Technically it's an engagement ring, but I'm not popping the question. I'm going to give it to her as a promise ring on my birthday which is this month. 

I honestly believe she might be THE ONE and I'm not afraid to put a ring on it! This is my way of promising a bright future for us...if she'll have me and promise to equally invest in said future. 

I'm sure she will be shocked and surprise to be receiving such a gift on MY birthday. She won't see it coming...which is exactly why I'm giving it to her on my birthday.

I bought Yellow Bone's ring off Zale's website and had it shipped to a local store. I went to pick it up this evening and it looks great. Usually I would shop for something like this in store but while browsing Zales online I fell in love with the ring. I had the words "Forever & Always" engraved inside the ring.

This is my second time buying a ring for woman. I gave my ex-girlfriend a promise ring as a birthday gift to her. I bought her ring from Zales too. She ended up giving me back the ring after we broke up and I returned it to Zales for a full refund.

Hopefully this time there won't be any refunds. (Smile)

Everybody Hates A Black Woman...Until You Motherfuckers Need One

Everybody Hates A Black Woman...Until You Motherfuckers Need One

Being both black and lesbian places me in an interesting position in this world. The two intersect more often than not these days because people who are both gay/lesbian and black find themselves in an interesting situation when it comes to the on-going same sex marriage debate. White folks (stupidly) try to compare being gay to being black when in reality they are NOT in a position to make such a comparison. In fact, the ONLY people in a position to make that comparison are those of us who are BOTH black and gay/lesbian. We are the ONLY people in the world who can say whether or not being a homosexual is comparable to the oppression/racism felt by black people. 

White people (white homosexuals, white feminist, any damn white person that feels "wronged" in this world) need to admit they conveniently forget their white privilege when it suites them and they stupidly try to piggyback on the struggle of others (mainly African Americans by way of the Civil Rights Movement). 

Black people see this bullshit for what it is and that's why white people are met with stern resistance. It's not simply a matter of black people being highly homophobic. It's the reality that we all know white people own and control almost every damn thing in this country and their plight, whether gay or not, is NOT comparable to that of black people. 

There is a another reason why being both lesbian and black places me in an interesting position and it has to do with the sexual/gender politics in the black community. 

I'm black but I'm a lesbian. I am NOT emotionally or physically invested in black men in any way, shape or form. I don't feel the same urge to protect black men that so many heterosexual black women feel. I don't feel the need to join hands with black men in some sense of false racial unity whenever one of them is shot down and killed by a member of law enforcement. I don't feel the need to support them at all. While I am capable of feeling empathy for black men, I believe my sexuality has given me a sense of indifference to them.

There are black men in my life that I care about (my father, brothers etc), but in terms of imitate relationships (and even friendships) black men mean nothing to me. 

I believe my sexuality allows me to view the dynamics of black heterosexual relationships with greater clarity than it does someone who is both black and heterosexual because I have no investment in such unions. Black men running off with white women doesn't mean anything to me. Black men not wanting to get married to black women doesn't mean anything to me. Black men going to prison doesn't mean anything to me. Black men killing each other in the streets of Chicago doesn't mean anything to me.  The only impact I feel from any of the above is a great sense of compassion (and well...pity) for heterosexual black women. Black women, are the ONLY reason I even think about black men because I know as long as black women insist on tying themselves to black men they too will be a shipwreck...and that affects me.

Black lesbians are MORE aware of the abuse, violence, rapes and emotional abuse that black women face at the hands of black men than any other group (including heterosexual black women). I think the same is true for non-black lesbians. I think that's why so many lesbians are also advocates for women's rights and such. We see the nonsense for what it is because we are on the outside looking into these unhealthy heterosexual relationships. 

Think about it...only a few black women in the last four decades have fought against violence against black women in the black community...many of them have been black LESBIANS. Why? I don't know, but I know many heterosexual black women are unwilling to throw black men under the bus because they are invested in them both physically and emotionally whereas black lesbians aren't invested in black men that way.

In my world, black men are women are not (remember this is coming from a woman that loves women). 

Today I'm scanning through the internet when I run across a blog about the film Red Tails, a film about the Tuskegee Airmen. The blog was heated because a number of black women said they wouldn't see the movie because 1). There weren't any black women in the film (despite the fact that all the Tuskegee Airmen had black wives). 2). A number of black women DID in fact play a hand in the success of the Tuskegee Airmen (black women were pilots too) and 3). The love interest in this story was a white woman (again...ALL the Tuskegee Airmen had BLACK wives). 

Black men, on this blog (and other's I read after learning about this issues) jumped all over these women for having the good sense not to support a film that 1). Excluded them (and rewrote history to exclude them) and 2). Placed a white woman as the love interest in a story that took place during a time when white women openly voiced their contempt (along with white men) for black men (and black people in general).

Black women on these blogs were called "Mean-spirited" "Jealous" and "Ridiculous." Black men tried to emotionally blackmail the women into supporting the film. 

"This movie is a positive image of BLACK men. Why wouldn't you support that?" they said. 

The emphasis is being purposely placed on the race of the men....all in an effort to draw attention away from the race of the love interest in the film.

The emotional blackmail was put forth by hitting the women with the RACIAL unity they are supposed to feel when black men are the center of attention whereas no such unity exist for BLACK WOMEN...and if it did the white love interest never would have been inserted in the film in the first place...

***This film was written and directed by black men...Mr. George Lucas ONLY produced it.***

I find the mindset of the men amazing! How the hell can you expect black women to support something that clearly slaps them in the fucking face? 

It appears to me that everybody hates a black woman...right up until they need one. And in this case black men KNEW they needed black women in order to keep this film from flopping (and yes, it did flop. The film had a great opening weekend but it fell short after was rushed to DVD). After all, black women (and all races of women for that matter) are far more likely to go to the movies than black men (who simply buy the movie from the neighborhood bootleg man). 

Black women have the spending power in the black community. If black women decide to stop supporting black movies featuring black men the shit is going to be felt. And black men know it, which is why black men who otherwise have a "fuck black women" attitude or "We don't need black women" attitude suddenly found themselves angry when black women decided to exercise their God given right not to spend their money on anything of significance to black men.

I'm so happy to see black women putting themselves first. Your love and support should NEVER be a given (especially not based on race...we see how well black men tend to overlook race when it suites them). It is something that should be EARNED.
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