Thursday, December 27, 2012

The Pretty Hoochie With The Good Coochie!

I have a confession to make. From age 18-26 I was checking for the pretty hoochie with the good coochie! Those early rants I made on this blog about not being happy with black women and not being able to find a black woman of quality were true...but only half the truth. 

The other half of the truth is I was almost solely checking for women based on their physical appearance. I was looking solely at the chicks with nice faces, perky breast and phat asses and getting pissed off because 1). They aren't gay. 2). They are gay or bisexual and MOST have been ran through by men and women alike 3). Because they have kids. 4). Because they are confused as hell or in the closet and 5). Because truthfully they didn't want me for a variety of reasons (and these reasons range from not being a "stud" to not being a party girl). 

Yes, I'm guilty of judging a book by its cover. For eight years I was constantly picking up an encyclopedia based on it's pretty cover and features when I should have picked up a dictionary to look up the word SUPERFICIAL. 

And yes, I'm guilty of wanting to fuck, fuck, fuck the hell out of these women! I'm a human being. I own up to my superficial past. I'm not perfect. The physically is still very important to me, but it is no longer the sole reason why I desire a woman.

And no, I'm still not satisfied with the crop of black lesbians I run across. Whether they are hoochies or regular chicks, I do believe there is a lack of non-stereotypical, educated, physically attractive BLACK LESBIANS (key words).

We sometimes go after what we want instead of what we need. I wanted the pretty hoochie with the good coochie for eight long years. And no, I didn't ignore the pretty bookworm with the ivy league education (referring to Yellow Bone), she simply wasn't available to me at that point in my life. Pretty black lesbian bookworms are a RARE commodity. I would have gladly jumped on this chick too. However, the hoochie with the good coochie is a dime a dozen here in Atlanta. Convincing them to put out is not hard. So, naturally...that's who I found myself pursuing all too often.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Itching For Something Better

I'm at a point in my life where I desire something better. I hate the routine of my life. Like most people I eat, work, shit, sleep and do it all over again the next day. I need something more. I hate working for someone else. I don't take authority well and I think part of my overall misery comes from being under the foot of someone else. I don't want my money to be dependent on another person. I want to be my own boss.

Someone recently told me I should start my own magazine. The thought has crossed my mind, but I tossed the idea to the side because of the cost associated with such a venture. Recently the idea crossed my mind again. The game has changed. Print magazines are quickly becoming a thing of the past. Digital magazines are the way of the future. 

The invention of tablets and e-readers are a BLESSING for people like me. They have reduced the cost associated with starting a publishing business and self-publishing. I'm seriously thinking about creating a digital magazine. The idea doesn't seem as far fetched to me anymore. 

So what kind of magazine should I create? I don't know. Part of me wants to create a "black" version of The Advocate. Another part of me wants to create a general "black" women's magazine centered around natural hair, books, genealogy, news and media. Both ideas scare the hell out of me. Why? Because I'm not sure either idea will be a hit with readers.

For the most part I don't even understand black lesbians and gays. I feel like an oddity amongst the crowd of black gays and lesbians. The same is true amongst black people in general. I scratch my head so often about things I read, see and hear from black folks that it's damn near impossible for me to find camaraderie amongst the masses. Therefore, I'm not sure if my interest will be a hit with this target audience.

What do you think?

Saturday, December 22, 2012

I Need Your Opinon About Something...

I am 20 pages into writing the black lesbian love story I want to read. Part of me wants to introduce the story and publish it as a series (each section being 20 pages long) while another part of me wants to publish it as a novel. I'm leaving it up to you...

Would you rather I publish the story piece by piece as a series or would you rather I publish it as a novel? 

Hit the poll...

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Politics Of Black Women's Hair

Sometimes I think I underestimate my intelligence. I say that because whenever I visit blogs written by SOME black people I feel like a genius in a room full of idiots. Seriously...I honestly feel that way. I don't know if I'm more enlightened than the average African American or what, but critical thinking seems to elude the black masses on the internet. I find this to be especially true amongst black men. Answers that should be obvious go right over their heads in most cases. 

You would think black men would understand black women better than other races of men understand the women of their racial group. Why? Because black men are almost solely raised by black women. However, this doesn't appear to be true. Either they are purposely stuck on stupid or they lack the intelligence to understand black women overall. 

All over the internet I keep reading comments from black men who cannot understand why black women relax their hair. Many don't understand why black women rock weaves and wigs. Almost all of them point to self-hatred as the ONE AND ONLY reason black women do any of the above. It hasn't dawned on these men that maybe...just maybe...there is more to the politics of black women's hair than self-hatred (and honestly I find it hilarious that black men would even criticize another group from supposedly hating themselves). 

Let me break it all the way down...

I'm not a fan of weaves and relaxers myself. Anyone that reads my blog should know I LOVE natural black hair. I currently rock an Afro. There is nothing more beautiful to me than a lovely black woman with a head full of natural black hair. While I obviously have a preference for black women with natural black hair I wouldn't turn away a black woman simply because she rocks a weave and relaxed hair. A fine woman is a fine woman to me. As long as she meets most of the things on my list I'm down for dating her.

Would I prefer black women to rock their natural hair? Yes. 

Do I feel it's my right to bash black women for rocking their hair the way they want to rock it? No. 

Do I sympathize with black women for the shit they go through involving their hair? Yes.

Now let's talk about the politics of black women's hair...

Here is the thing black men don't seem to get: Black men DO NOT provide for black women. They do not produce LEGITIMATE economic opportunity for themselves OR black women. When it comes to black women's hair the white man's opinion often holds more weight. Why? Because black women are dependent upon white men and white corporate America for jobs! Therefore, black women are going to conform to a European standard of beauty if it means putting food on the men, their opinion, claims of self-hatred be damned!

When black women are rocking our natural hair many of us hit a brick wall in our professional careers. Don't believe me? Just take a look at Rhonda Lee (the woman pictured above). Rhonda Lee was fired from her job as a meteorologist in Shreveport, Louisiana because she responded to an ignorant racist who criticized her natural hair on the station's facebook page. 

The racist wrote the following: 
“the black lady that does the news is a very nice lady.the only thing is she needs to wear a wig or grow some more hair. im not sure if she is a cancer patient. but still its not something myself that i think looks good on tv. what about letting someone a male have waist long hair do the news.what about that.”

Ms. Lee responded with the following:
“Hello Emmitt–I am the ‘black lady’ to which you are referring. I’m sorry you don’t like my ethnic hair. And no I don’t have cancer. I’m a non-smoking, 5’3, 121 lbs, 25 mile a week running, 37.5 year old woman, and I’m in perfectly healthy physical condition.

“I am very proud of my African-American ancestry which includes my hair. For your edification: traditionally our hair doesn’t grow downward. It grows upward. Many Black women use strong straightening agents in order to achieve a more European grade of hair and that is their choice. However in my case I don’t find it necessary. I’m very proud of who I am and the standard of beauty I display. Women come in all shapes, sizes, nationalities, and levels of beauty. Showing little girls that being comfortable in the skin and HAIR God gave me is my contribution to society. Little girls (and boys for that matter) need to see that what you look like isn’t a reason to not achieve their goals.

“Conforming to one standard isn’t what being American is about and I hope you can embrace that.

“Thank you for your comment and have a great weekend and thank for watching.”
Ms. Lee is now unemployed. Black women are damned by black men for rocking a relaxer and a weave and they are damned by white people for rocking their natural hair!

Black women are pressured to conform to an European standard of beauty largely because they are dependent on whites for survival in this country...whether black men want to admit it or not. Admitting this little fact probably brings shame upon black men, which is why they would rather scapegoat "self-hate" as the MAIN/SOLE reason why black women rock weaves and relaxers. It's probably hard to admit your race of women is dependent upon another race of men for economic opportunities because you, as men, haven't created those opportunities for them! So, they ignore this FACT and point to self-hate. 

Now don't get me wrong. I do believe self-hate plays a part in SOME black women's love for relaxers and weaves. However, I don't for one second believe this holds true for the MAJORITY of black women. Self-hate to me looks like Michael Jackson who, last time I checked, was a black man. Self-hate doesn't look like black women who press/relax their hair and rock weaves. The majority of black women rock relaxers for the following reasons:
  1. Pressure to conform to the European standard of beauty.
  2. Because that's what they want (duh!).
  3. Because that's the current style (and yes, I will admit sometimes the shit does look ridiculous and turn me off...ex. the multiple colored weave)
  4. For some...that's all they know (meaning they've had relaxed/straightened hair since they were children) and therefore they may not be comfortable rocking anything else. 
I don't honestly care what anyone thinks about my hair. I rock the natural and I'm proud to rock it! If I had to pick between a job and my hair I would pick my hair each and every time. However, I understand the same may not be true for other black women.  It would be nice if black women could be ourselves without everything and everyone judging us. It would be nice if black men made a half-way decent effort to understand the struggles black women face with their hair, the European standard of beauty and the politics behind their hair.

Kudos To White Women: Y'all Know How To Recognize Dumbass Niggas When You See Them!

Don't know how I missed this story, but in 2006 legendary singer Lou Rawls died of cancer. I'm not a Lou Rawls fan, but he did make some good songs. When he died I was still in college and because I'm not a fan I didn't follow the family drama that erupted after his death. 

A few years before he died, Lou Rawls met and married Nina, the lady in the above picture. The two of them met on an airplane where she was a flight attendant. They married shortly AFTER Lou Rawls found out he had cancer. Somehow or the other this woman managed to convince Lou Rawls old ass to adopt a child (see the picture above). Needless to say this didn't sit well with SOME of Lou Rawls' children. His daughter, Louanna Rawls, who is clearly the product of the swirl, became the most vocal of the group....

By all accounts Louanna tried to convince her father not to marry Nina or adopt the child. I'm guessing shit must have hit the fan shortly before Lou Rawls died because Nina left this voicemail on Louanna's phone...

Click this LINK.

If you're like me chances are your mouth was hanging wide open as you listened to Nina's voicemail. The woman admitted she was on some gold digging nonsense. She told Louanna that she was taking it all and everything was in her name. She called Lou Rawls a dumbass and said he shouldn't have married her. If I were Lou Rawls' daughter I would be mad at my father and the gold digging trick!

Black men think with their dicks. It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor. In general they lack common sense when it comes to sex and non-black women. And no I'm not against interracial relationships of any kind. I don't have a dog in this fight. Black men don't mean a damn thing to me because they are not in my dating pool. I'm simply calling a spade a spade. When it comes to non-black pussy black men are the stupidest people on the face of the planet. 

Successful black men will ask a black woman for a prenup with lighting speed, but they have a completely different standard for non-black women. They will call black women who expect a black MAN to provide and protect a gold digger quick. These same men will excuse a non-black woman for having the SAME standards because that's part of their culture (i.e., the men protect and provide). 

Black men know they cannot half step with non-black women because those women come from a culture that promotes men having their shit together. He has to be on top of his game and bringing in enough money to support her and their family. The same doesn't appear to be true for black American culture. In black American culture if a black man simply has a job and doesn't hold a criminal record he is regarded as a "good" black black men. Mind you this man can have a G.E.D., a fucked up anti-social personality and be physically unattractive, but because he achieved what other races of men just do (i.e., get/keep a job and no criminal record) he considers himself a "good" catch.

Most black women know this double standard is a way for black men to save their egos/pride/manhood because most of them are NOT successful beyond the bare minimum. Black men know they aren't in a position to attract gold diggers. The average black man in this country makes 35k a year or less. Instead of admitting this fact they try to shame black women for expecting them to BE successful beyond the bare minimum. They try to shame black women for expecting them to have a college education and a job that can support an entire family (in this world that's about 50k a year or more). For this expectation black women get the gold digger label.

I'm sure you're heard comments from broke niggas accusing black women of being gold diggers. I mean really...what kind of gold are black women hoping to discover from the poorest group of men on the face of the planet???

Like I said, black men call black women gold diggers in an effort to save face.

Because of their double standards REAL successful black men are easy prey for WHITE women. If I were a pretty young white woman looking for a come up I would target rich black men. All you have to do is give them some pussy and pop out 2.5 kids. At that point you're set for life! After the last child comes along divorce his ass and take the kids, the house, the dog and the loot with you back to your community! Marry yourself a white man and live happily ever after on your black ex-husband's dime.

I honestly believe the black community would be in better shape if BLACK WOMEN were the millionaire rappers, athletes and entertainers. Why? Because the money would stay in the black community if black women controlled it. Black women are the primary caregivers of black children. Our resources are likely to go to those children. Our resources will trickle down to our children, and not a completely different community if divorce occurs. If we divorce we still keep our resources and possibly some of his. Divorce doesn't financially damage women the same way it does men. In short, black female millionaires are far more likely to keep their resources "black" than black men. 

Just think about it. Look at O.J. Simpson. Here is a black man that married a black woman and had three children with her (one drowned in the family swimming pool). For years this woman criss-crossed the country with him while he was a professional athlete. She supported his ventures and his career....

Here is a picture of their family....

OJ Simpson threw Marguerite and their family straight under the bus for Nicole, who was a teenager when they met. From what I've read, OJ Simpson and Marguerite had a bitter divorce. She had to practically beg for alimony and child support. Meanwhile, OJ bought Nicole's family a fucking car dealership! He sent Nicole's sister to community college. He helped get Nicole's piss poor family out of poverty. Now just think of the mental damage this shit probably had on his kids with Marguerite! Their father had no issue at all ditching them and their mother while financially supporting Nicole and her family.

When things hit the fan and OJ was accused of killing Nicole her family threw OJ's ass straight under the bus. Nicole's sister, the one he sent to community college, wasted no time calling OJ's stupid ass evil, a cheater, a wife beater etc.

While he was on trial, Marguerite DEFENDED OJ. She said he never raised a hand to her. In every interview she did Marguerite defended OJ. 

After the trial was over OJ moved to Florida and became a pariah. His old white friends ceased being his friends. They turned their backs on him. Everyone except OJ knew he was the most hated black man on the face of the planet.

Shortly before he was set up and sent to prison OJ and his oldest daughter, Arnelle (pictured above) got into a physically altercation. Arnelle was pissed off with OJ and his coke head white girlfriend, who was blowing money like there was no tomorrow while her mother, Marguerite, was working at Wal-Mart. 

Arnelle snapped and rightly so! 

This is a young woman that watched helplessly as her father abandoned her mother for a white woman. She watched as he treated her trashy family like gold. She watched as those same people turned their back on him and walked away with the resources OJ GAVE THEM. She watched as her mother struggled financially while OJ jumped from one gold digging white hoe to the next. She watched as said gold digging white hoes threw OJ under the bus when he hit rock bottom (the last of which I saw on Good Morning America trying to sell a book in which she details the abuse she supposedly suffered from OJ). 

This story has a happy ending. Supposedly Arnelle has been collecting OJ's $20,000 a month pension check. There was a report some time ago that his house in Florida was under foreclosure because Arnelle stopped paying the mortgage. Arnelle probably said the hell with OJ and his house. She's probably using OJ's money to take care of her mother! There is no way in hell my mama would be working at Wal-Mart if I were getting $20,000 a month. This is compensation for that family's pain and suffering. OJ's inability to control his dick caused them enough grief to last a lifetime. This whole ordeal never would have happened if Marguerite was the individual holding the loot.

Anyway, I just thought this Lou Rawls' situation was incredibly sad, but I don't personally feel sorry for Lou Rawls or his descendants. He got caught up with the pussy and they, his children, paid the price.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Ten Interesting Facts About Me

I know it's been a minute since my last blog, but I have been sick. I had a stomach virus straight from hell! I'm okay now (thank God), but my stomach was tore up this week. So, I apologize for not making time to blog.

My blog has become a small community of women of various races. I receive quite a few emails that read "I want to know more about you" or "I would love to get to know you." I believe most of these messages are coming from people who are truly curious about me, my life and my attitude towards life while others are coming from women who are interested in dating me (or in some cases fucking me...just being honest). 

In the past I have written about my family on this blog. I've written about my life, which I don't find as interesting as many of you. Still people want to know more about me. Okay...I came up with a list of interesting things about myself. However, I also want to know more about you. Please post ten interesting things about yourself in the comment section. If you don't want to post on my blog send me an email containing the information (

Ten interesting facts about myself....

1). I was born with 12 fingers. Yes, your favorite blogger was born with a genetic disorder (thank you daddy!). It is called polydactyly. When I came bursting out of my mama's coochie I had an extra pinky finger on each hand. However, these fingers didn't have bones (thank God). The doctor tied a string around my extra joints and they fell off. Today I have 10 fingers with two tiny nots on the side of my pinky fingers.  One day, when I have children, I expect to be greeted with 12 fingers on their little hands!

2). My first time having sex was a quickie I didn't want. She was begging for it. I said no. She kept begging for it and I eventually said fuck it! She got a mouth full of me!

3). In high school I was student body president, junior class president and president of several clubs. I was on principle honor roll. I played saxophone. In short, I was a popular and pretty geek. 

4). I'm a fan of 80's rock. Phil Collins and Journey are two of my favorite artist.

5). I sometimes rock in the bed at night. It is something I've done since I was a baby. According to my mother I used to rock myself to sleep in my crib. As a child I had asthma. The only thing that used to stop me from coughing and weezing was rocking side to side in the bed. Now, as an adult, I do it out of habit. It helps me sleep at night. 

6). I over think things. I don't know if this is a benefit of higher education or what, but I anaylze and break things down all the time even when it is not necessary. Sometimes the answer is staring me in the face, but I dig deeper anyway.

7). I'm very emotional and I battle depression. Things that shouldn't bother me have the ability to make me angry (ex. the plight of black Americans). In short, I care too damn much.

8). I've been driving the same car since I was 17 years old and I plan to drive it until the wheels fall off!

9). My jet black hair is beginning to gray. I strongly suspect I will be completely gray by the time I'm 35. 

10). People tell me I have a great voice. Apparently my thick southern accent is a hit with black women who are not originally from the south. I used to be self-conscious about my accent, but now I use it to sweet talk the panties off women (well one woman, Yellow Bone). 

11). ***Bonus fact*** I have a natural flair for comedy. People tell me I'm funny. Maybe one day I will get up the nerve to step inside a comedy club. 

***I will be on skype all weekend. If you want to chat hit me on skype. My username is lez.intellect.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

A Real Black Lesbian Love Story

Today I began writing the black lesbian love story I long to read. Writing the first few pages of a new story is always the hardest thing in the world for me because the first pages determine whether or not a reader will READ my work or throw it in the trash. If a story doesn't capture my attention in the first ten pages I'm liable to put it down and never come back to it. So, I know how important it is to capture the reader's attention within the first 10-15 pages. 

I won't go into much detail about the story I'm writing, but I've hinted at it in a few recent post. It will be an old-fashioned love story that actually portrays black lesbians as more than sexual beings. My characters will be emotional, intelligent, feminine and above all else they will reflect what I believe is a real/accurate representation of black lesbianism. 

I set my story in the 1970s, 1980s, 1990s and the early 2000s because one of my characters is a R&B superstar and as we all know R&B lost its soul sometime in the late 1990s. So I imagined this character hitting it big when R&B music was at its peak, which in my opinion was in the late 1970s-1980s.

In my head this character has a jazzy/soulful voice like Anita Baker...

Physically she looks something like Shari Headley from Coming To America....

Her love interest is a woman she fell in love with in high school. Though she is not a public figure like the character mentioned above, the love interest is the CEO of a major black hair care company started by her father in the 1950s.  She is also successful in her own right.

The story will take place over the course of 3 and 1/2 decades. I will explore homophobia, sexism, racism, classism and self-loathing on the part of both characters. Some of their experiences will match my own.

That's all I'm willing to give away for now. Please leave your feedback in the comment section.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Gay Marriage & What It Means For Me

Yesterday the media reported that the supreme court will hear two cases involving gay marriage. From my understanding one case deals with federal benefits for same sex couples and the other deals with the constitutionality of same sex marriage. Hopefully members of the supreme court will uphold the constitution by acknowledging our unalienable rights and equal protection under the law.

We all know this case will be a slam dunk because the people standing in the way of gay marriage have no right to do so. We cannot tell another individual who they should or should not marry.

We also know the issue of gay marriage made it to the supreme court with lighting speed because gay WHITE people want to get married. If this were an issue solely involving people of color it would take about 10-15 years before the case made it to the supreme court...but that's neither here nor there...

I haven't mentioned it on this blog, but I was planning on proposing to Yellow Bone on New Years's Eve. Hopefully she will say yes and your favorite blogger will be getting married in 2013! Maybe...just maybe...we might be able to get married right here in Georgia! Let's keep our fingers crossed. 

Saturday, December 1, 2012


At what point does the urge to fuck other women cease? That's the question I keep asking myself.

I'm with Yellow Bone and I'm truly happy with her. We are closer than close. We are closer now than we've ever been. However, the urge to fuck other women is still strong! 

There is a girl at work that openly flirts with me. As crazy as it sounds she is from Detroit just like Yellow Bone. The chick is stacked! She has a pretty face, some nice breast, a phat ass and a nice personality. She keeps inviting me out and I keep turning her down while thinking to myself, "If only I were single. It would be on and popping!" 

I know it's bad, but I actually find myself fantasizing about screwing this chick. I'm around her five days a week. It's hard not to think about sex around her. 

Then there is my property manager. I'm renewing my lease. When I went into the rent office this morning to pay my rent I told her I planned to renew my lease. 

Property Manager: (smiling) Good...I would hate to see you go. 

Me: (thinking to myself) I bet!

I'm not a player and I'm not a whore....but damn if I'm not tempted to be all of the above. I

'm a human being with a great sex drive. However, I keep asking myself when does the desire to screw other women cease? When do we cease being tempted to screw other people?

The current soundtrack of my life...

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