Sunday, June 29, 2014

I'm Turning 29 This Week...


This week I turn 29 years old. I don't quite know how I feel about it. On one hand, I'm happy to see another year. On another hand, I'm not exactly excited about getting older. 

There is so much I thought I would accomplish at this point in my life that's hasn't happened. Here is a list of things that haven't happened...
  1. I haven't married yet. There isn't even a potential wife in the picture. 
  2. I don't have any kids. I thought child #1 would be here at this point in my life. That hasn't happened yet because of #1. That clock in my head began ticking at age 25 and it gets louder every year. I constantly worry that I might not have any children.
  3. I don't own any property (i.e., a house). 
  4. While I'm grateful to be doing what I want to do in life, my writing career is still something that has highs and lows from time-to-time. It's not as stable as I would have liked and I'm honestly thinking about taking my ass to law school and calling it a day. I don't really feel like I have any solid direction in terms of a long-term career. The only things I'm certain of is I don't want to work in corporate America. I don't want to work for anyone white. I want to own my own business.
This year marks the end of my glorious twenties. It's time to get REAL about life and stop dreaming. The problem is I've been a dreamer all my life. I don't know how to stop dreaming and hoping. The older I get the more I feel like the character Walter Lee from A Raisin In A Sun

Do thoughts of disappointment naturally start once you've reached a certain age? 

Does optimism leave the picture completely at a certain age?

I'm tired of dreaming and hoping, but ending up disappointed.
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