Monday, December 2, 2013

Still Heartbroken After Damn Near Seven Years...


No matter what happens I can't escape thoughts of her. I've tried moving on to other women. I've tried moving on with my life. However, no matter what I do, everything always comes back to her.

I don't think I will ever love another woman as hard as I loved her. It is far too painful to do so. I wish I'd never met her. Maybe then I wouldn't feel this constant stabbing pain whenever I close my eyes and think of her. 

There is a hole in my heart and I don't think it will ever be filled. It's been there ever since she and I broke up and she cut me out of her life. 

There are times when I find myself weeping just thinking about her. There was a time when I thought about killing myself not long after she walked out of my life. There are times when I wish the burning, constant pain, that's been with me for the last seven years, would go away.

Though various events have happened in my life that have led to depression, if I were honest with myself, I would admit my depression always been about her. It always leads back to what happened between me and her. It always leads back to my feelings for her. 

If it's possible to be driven to madness by a woman I'm there....living in mental hell.

I've been crying all day. I don't see it slowing down or stopping anytime soon.
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