Monday, August 5, 2013

Maybe This Is The Change I Need...


I'm stuck in rut. 

My friend Bill is trying to get me out of it. I don't know if I'm going through a mid-life crisis or what, but an invisible clock is ticking in my brain. It started ticking when I hit twenty-six, and it gets louder every year I age. I guess this is my mind's way of telling me, "Your ass is not getting any younger. You better have your fun now because your glamorous twenties are almost over." This, combined with my anxiety about aging, has prompted me to take some chances in life.

For a long time, Bill has been encouraging me to try my hand at songwriting. 

Bill: "If you can write books you should be able to write songs." 

Me: "Naw, I don't think so. 

I always backed away from the idea because...
  1. My brand of music (i.e., R&B/Soul) is no longer the rage. 
  2. I don't know anyone who can sing my brand of music. The so-called "artist" we have today suck ass and can't sing. 
  3. I don't know the first thing about songwriting (not a good excuse because I'm capable of teaching myself anything). I used to play sax, but that is the extent of my music education.
Bill: "My homeboy is a  producer. You write the lyrics and he will produce the music."

Me: "I guess I can give it a try."

So, I'm trying my hand at songwriting.

I know what I want to hear. I know what I like. I know what I don't like: the trash that is all over the radio. 

I've been told I can sweet talk the panties off a woman. Well, if that's true it should come out in my lyrics. 

I want to bring back REAL, good, solid R&B/Soul. I want this...


and this...


and this...


and this...


I think you get the picture.

Even if I were to write some great songs I would still face the issue of finding someone to sing the songs!

Back in the day black women were the MAIN consumers of R&B music, and black men were the main singers/producers of that music. Well, that is clearly not true anymore. 

Black men, these days, sound like bullshit and ain't nobody trying to hear them sing through a whole damn song...especially a ballad. When black men think of singing today, they usually mean a song full of autotune. Only one black men could get away with that and he is dead (R.I.P)...



And to be honest, I don't know too many black women, gay or straight, who are even checking for black men like that anymore. So, I don't think investing my time and money into a black male R&B artist is wise. 

Right in the middle of brainstorming this idea it dawned on me that I should find a black woman who can sing! Not just any type of black woman. I should find a GAY black woman, who can sing R&B music. She needs to be pretty and she needs be a bit of a tomboy. Visually she needs to scream GAY, but she also needs to appeal to straight women. 

I'm looking for a modern day T-Boz or Left Eye, who can sing! That chick will sell records. Not only will she sell records but she will practically have a monopoly on black lesbians. 

Be honest, most of us would kill for a sexy black lesbian R&B singer. Most of us would eat her records up if she's out here singing about love and relationships. Most of us would favorite the hell out of her youtube videos in which her love interest is a woman. Just imagine if the individual singing this song was an attractive black lesbian and it featured her and two other lesbians in a love triangle...



Women out here would eat this^^^ up like crack!

So, now I'm on a mission. 

I'm going to give the world the first black lesbian R&B superstar. I'm going to write the music I want to hear and I'm going to make a star out of somebody. Watch me do it!
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