Monday, August 5, 2013

I Guess I Did Hit It & Quit It


Today I was sitting on my patio reading a book when my former property manager came creeping up behind me. For those of you who don't know, I spent an entire year trying to seduce and woo this woman. I was sending her chocolate covered strawberries. I once french kissed Yellow Bone in front of her to make her jealous. I did everything in my power to win this woman over. 

I wasn't able to have her until after she was promoted to another position outside of my apartment complex. We kicked it for a while and eventually I did gain access to her coochie. For a split second I was content. That was before I actually got to know the woman. Every ridiculous fantasy I had about "Cougar" (my nickname for her because she is old enough to be my mother) came crashing back to reality once I got to know her. 

Cougar is by no means a bad woman. However, she and I don't click. Once I finally got to know her, I found her to be controlling and needy. Even though she is old enough to be my mother, I grew to resent her for talking to me like a child. On top of that she used to blow my damn phone up! I mean text messages, voicemails...the whole nine yards! 

I only fucked Cougar once, but it must have been damn good because she used to send me some freaky ass text messages about what she wanted to do to me! Now, I like that kind of shit, but something about it coming from her turned me off.

Eventually, I began backing away and avoiding her. That didn't stop the constant text messages and voicemails. It took damn near two months for her to finally get the point. Today was the first time I've seen her since I cut her off and to say I was uncomfortable is putting it mildly. 

Me: "Uh...hi." 

Cougar: "Hello, how are you?"

Me: "I doing well and yourself?"

Cougar: "I'm good."

Awkward silence. 

Me: "What are you doing here?"

Cougar: "I'm helping out at the rent office for a few days."

Me: "Oh okay." 

More silence. 

Cougar: "So, you decided to wash your hands of me...just like that?"

Me: "It really wasn't like that" (but I immediately thought, yeah pretty much).

Cougar: "How was it then?"

Me: "Uh..."

Cougar: "Um hm...you hit it and quit it." 

Me (thinking to myself): I guess I did hit it and quit it.

Our exchange didn't last long. She had to go back to the rent office (thank God). I do feel bad for treating her this way. Maybe I could have handled this situation better.
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