Monday, February 4, 2013

Out of Wedlock Births: I Just Don't Understand


I don't care for single mothers (specifically black single mothers). At this point, that shouldn't be a secret. I purposely shun these women and I REFUSE to give them the time of day. However, this is not another rant about black single mothers per se. Instead it's a rant about the ridiculous number of black children born out of wedlock and what it means for black men and black women of all sexual orientations.  

It's been reported that 72% of black children are born out wedlock in this country. That means the vast majority of black children are being born into situations where mom and dad are NOT married. While dumbass black single mothers continue to defend this destructive practice those of us not apart of the problem recognize that many of these kids will grow up to be dysfunctional unproductive adults. 

Study after study has shown that children born out of wedlock tend to fill this nation's criminal justice system. They perform poorly in school. They suffer from neglect and many of them have behavioral problems. They tend to grow up in poverty and they witness all the pathologies that come with the territory. 

One side of this issue that is NEVER examined is how the out of wedlock birthrate has affected black marriage and black relationships. Let me explain...

Let's say you have a small population of people like that of the black community, which has an estimated population of 40 million. According to the 2010 census, most of that 40 million, over the age of 15, is NOT married. However, a large number of those unmarried people over the age of 15 DO have children. Not only do they have children, but a large number of them have children by multiple individuals. Let that digest. If you need a visual here are two examples...

The rapper, T.I. has 5 children by 3 different women. He eventually married 1 of those 3 women. His wife also came to the table with a child born out of wedlock. 

Erykah Badu has 3 children by 3 different men. I don't know very much about the fathers of her children, but I know at least one of them had a child out of wedlock before impregnating Erykah. 

In 1998, Sport Illustrated did a cover story about the large number of black athletes, who fathered several out of wedlock kids by several different women...


All hell broke loose because Sports Illustrated had the nerve to put together a list of ain't shit niggas like Carl Malone and Isiah Thomas, who dropped their seed into several different women and neglected their roles as fathers.   

When you look at this mess of everybody screwing everybody and having children by everybody you're left to wonder how there will EVER again be a functional black community? 

This is the bullshit going on all over this country and it's not slowing down or stopping. 

The issue for me isn't one solely based on the high number of out of wedlock births taking place in the black community. No, another HUGE issue I have with this situation is multiple black men and black women are having children out of wedlock by several different people thereby creating a situation in which the already SMALL pool of people is FILLED with UNDESIRABLES.

CHILDLESS members of the population of 40 million are either 1). Forced to date outside the race where they have a larger pool of potential mates or 2). Forced to marry/procreate with someone that ALREADY has kids by 1-several people. 

Because we are a SMALL population of people this type of bullshit has completely destroyed any hope of ever getting back to the basic black nuclear family. Now we are forced to either settle for a so-called "blended" family where both mom and dad have children by different people, or we can date/marry outside the race.

I'll be honest. I probably wouldn't give two shits about this issue if it didn't have a direct impact on me. Yes, you read that right. You would think those of us who are black and homosexual wouldn't have to deal with this nonsense. However, that is NOT the case. It is a RARE thing that I run across a black "lesbian" who doesn't have kids. And shamefully, many of these women have children by black men who are no longer in the picture. Many of them have children by multiple men. So, what the hell are CHILDLESS FAMILY ORIENTATED black lesbians like me supposed to do? 

Although I want to keep it black, I will date outside myself before I date a black single mother! That shit just ain't happening. 

I don't understand WHY more black people are NOT cautious about the way they bring their children into this world, I don't understand WHY more black people are NOT cautious about who they have children with. This nonsense is mind-blowing to me. 

Not only is it selfish to bring a life into this world under these fucked up conditions, but it's also dumb as hell. At the very least people should think about the following before having children:
  1. Is having a child out of wedlock smart? Shouldn't I wait until I'm married to have children?
  2. Is this the best man or woman to have children with?
  3. Can I afford to have children?
  4. If I decide to have children out of wedlock what will happen to my pool of potential suitors?
  5. Is it right to subject my child to a single parent household?
  6. Will my child resent me later on in life for bringing him or her into this world under such fucked up conditions?
  7. How am I going to support my child if the individual I had him or her with decides to get the hell out of dodge?
  8. Am I helping or hurting the black community by having a child out of wedlock?
  9. Am I helping or hurting my child by having him or her out of wedlock?
  10. Am I setting my child, myself and my community up for failure by having a child out wedlock?
I'm GAY yet I can see the significant impact out of wedlock births have on the black community! I don't understand why MORE heterosexuals don't see it. You selfish assholes need to stop fucking and use some damn birth control.
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