Monday, January 7, 2013

I'm Single & I Hate It

I'm single and I hate it. I forgot what being single in Atlanta means for a progressive black lesbian. It means virtually no possibility of dating other progressive black lesbians. Sigh...I'm slipping into depression. 

Yesterday I had a conversation with my aunt. I was in the middle of finishing my graduate school application when she called. 

Me: Can you believe my high school class reunion is coming up? Damn I can't believe it's been ten years since I graduated high school. I'm going to be 28 years old this year.

Aunt: Yeah. Have you thought out about how you're going to have children? Are you planning to carry them? You still don't date women with children right?

Me: I want children, but I don't want to be a single parent. As far as carrying them...I don't know about all that. And hell no...I still don't date women with children. 

The whole conversation made me depressed as fuck.

I'm back to fearing I might never have children. I am against bringing children into this world as a single parent. It goes against everything I believe. So, if I cannot find the right woman I will not have any children. This is why I'm depressed as hell. I'm starting to believe I might end up a childless spinster.
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