Saturday, November 21, 2015

My Final Blog Post

This is going to be my last blog post....ever. 

At this point, I'm ready to walk away. I've had this blog since 2009. You've watched me struggle through life, love, jobs, financial issues, and now crime. 

On October 8, 2015 my beloved truck was stolen in the middle of the night as I slept in my bed. It hasn't been recovered. I'm not sure it will be recovered. I cried for 3 days straight, but at this point I want to put it behind me and move on with my life. 

On October 18, 2015, I bought a 2014 Honda Accord Sport (exactly like the one pictured above). I bought it for $17,000 with 7,950 miles on it. 

I wish I could say this event didn't change me, but it did. I'm not bitter, but I am cautious as hell of other black people. The truth is I don't trust nobody outside of myself (that includes family). 

That was part of the reason I made my blog private. 

At this point in my life I really want to move forward and forget the past. I don't want to think about ex-girlfriends, disappointments, depressing events, etc. That's why I think now is a good time to quit this blog because it is a vivid reminder of all of the above. 

I might allow this blog to stay public, but then again, I might set it to private again. It depends on how I'm feeling in a week or two. 

If you want to keep in touch with me like my Diary of A Black Lesbian Facebook page. I will periodically post on the page. You can also email me at 

It's been nice...I appreciate your support. 

Take care. 


Wednesday, September 23, 2015

I Love This Woman!

I wish I could find a woman like Vanessa Williams. I've always had a thing for her... 

Sunday, September 20, 2015

I'm Single Again...Sigh

Saturday, September 12, 2015

The Curious Case Of White Americans & Their Selective Patriotism

Unless you've been living under a rock, you should have heard that Serena Williams fell short of her goal of winning a grand slam (a term used to describe a swept of all majors within a year). Had she won the U.S. Open she would have been the first woman to achieve a grand slam since 1988. To my knowledge, she would have been the first BLACK women to achieve the feat period. She would have been 1 major away from tying the woman who currently holds the most majors. 

Watching Serena lose was heartbreaking. It was like watching someone you've grown up with fall short of a dream. I felt sorry for Serena. I think most BLACK Americans felt her pain. But what wasn't surprising was the orgasmic glee seen and felt by A LOT of WHITE Americans after Serena lost...

I have come to see that for all their talk of patriotism WHITE Americans would throw that shit straight into the bushes when faced with the possibility of a black woman (or black man) physically overpowering hundreds of whites in a sport. They don't care if that black woman or black man shares their nationality and is the frontrunner at a tournament bearing their country's name. When push comes to shove they would rather cheer for a foreign white woman or white man than a BLACK AMERICAN! 

While watching Serena fall short of her goal was troubling to black Americans, it was like a dream come true for WHITE Americans, who have always regarded Serena and her sister, Venus, as "beast," "men," and "animals." And then when Serena and Venus aren't acting "happy" and "friendly" toward "them" they want to call them "angry" "aggressive" and "bitter." 

I'm sick and tired of this shit. 

No matter how good, law-abiding, productive, rich, or successful a black person is in this country at the end of the fucking day these miserable, jealous, demonic White Americans still see a NIGGER. 

And then they wonder why we hate them.

Let's face it...when it comes to physical ability, White Americans suck! 

In a sport where they are the vast majority, two lone black girls, who grew up poor in Compton came through and kicked ass! These two black girls who didn't come from wealth, didn't have the means to travel and compete at a young age, and had the odds stacked against them came through and dominated the world of women's tennis. For well over a decade now they have been the ONLY Americans actually doing shit in women's tennis. Think about that for a minute.

I truly believe that regardless of the sport, black people will ALWAYS dominate whites. I don't care if it is tennis, golf, hockey, soccer, or bowling....when given the opportunity we will always dominate them. I believe whites (particuarly White Americans) are aware of this reality, and it makes them feel some kind of way. 

The few who actually admit it almost always want to piggyback with, "Well yeah, you blacks might dominate sports and music, but you are dead last intellectually" if they haven't spent hundreds of years keeping blacks from equal access to education, wealth, etc.

When given the same opportunity, same access to education, healthcare, wealth etc, black people almost always rise above whites. They know it, and it scares the shit out them. The day is coming when they will find themselves the minority amongst a sea of brown and black faces in this country. I'm curious to see how they will fare once that systematic oppression comes back to bite them in the ass. I have a feeling it's going to make this look like child's play...

This rant can go on forever, but I just wanted to share my thoughts on the sickening nonsense I've seen and read since Serena lost.

Friday, September 11, 2015


You better tell it!

Sunday, August 16, 2015

My Response...

A week ago I received this email...

I am not a writer so I wanted to reach out to someone who is. I was hoping you would consider a story about how black lesbian women do not support their own.

Did you know that out of all the black lesbian web series that are very popular right now, NONE of them have ever raised more than 3K for a crowdfunding to keep making their shows. The even crazier part these shows like Studville, Between Women, If I Was Your Girl, each have over 30K followers of their youtube stations. They run crowdfunding campaings and the same women who complain about there being nothing for black lesbians in the media, are the same people who won't donate 5.00 to a campaign.

right now an author by the name of Skyy is running a campaign to turn her first book into a feature film. Her book series is very popular in the black lesbian community, just check out the reviews on amazon. ON top of that she has two very popular black lesbian entertainers set to star in it. BUT the campaign has been running for almost a month and she's just now hitting 10 percent on the campaign. It's sad. So So Sad. Even a lot of the reviews of her books have people saying "oh you should make this a movie"

I don't have a voice. I don't have a platform to address this so that's why I am pitching this to you and others. Something needs to be said and people need to hear this. It's a terrible thing that we can't support our own but white lesbian's get sponsorships and can surpass their funding goals just by word of mouth and support.

I hope you will consider writing about this.
My response...

I feel your pain. However, I have been on both sides of this situation. I've been the creator/artist and I've been in the audience watching some of these works. So, I think I can speak on this issue from both sides...

As an audience member...

The shows you listed all suck! 

I have tried to watch all of them and I just couldn't get into them. Not only do I find them stereotypical and mediocre, but I'm turned off by the overwhelming portrayal of the Stud/Fem gender roles displayed in these shows. I often feel like I'm watching a straight couple while watching this dynamic play out because so often I find that the writers and actors are taking their cues from black male popular culture. I hope that makes sense. It's kinda hard to explain, and to be honest I don't feel like getting into it. 

When watching black lesbians I expect to see TWO black feminine women together. I'm not expecting to see a chick who looks, talks, and acts like she just stepped out of an episode of The Wire. I'm not expecting to see the same stereotypical behavior black women have been complaining about for years in black men portrayed by black women. 

To put it plainly, I want to see this: Fem/Fem....not this....Stud/Fem.  

Unfortunately, I appear to be in the minority. 

I won't even go into a rant about the dialogue, production quality, and overall aesthetics of these shows. They kinda speak for themselves. 

As an artist/creator...

Black women are a hard group to please. I too have found myself frustrated when trying to provide entertainment for black lesbians. One of the main reasons I fell back on Sweat is because of all the comments I got that ranged from "Why can't this character be more like so and so?" to  "This simply isn't believable." It reached a point where I said fuck it

I'm no longer willing to cater to black women/lesbians. Honestly, it's not worth the time, money, or effort. I realize you can't please everyone. So, why break your back trying to please such a small toxic demographic (yeah I said it)?

In the 30 years I've been on this earth I have come to see that black women as a collective are not a happy group of people and maybe we are entitled to feel that way given all the shit we go through in this world. However, I have to be honest, I'm no longer interested in putting my money into this demographic. The rewards are small and the payoff is minimum at best. 

Perhaps this is something that the network executives know that we like to ignore. Catering to this small extra critical demographic is a money pit. It's like throwing money into the bottom of a well. 

On the flip side of all this, black women aren't obligated to support other black women simply because they are black. If a product doesn't appeal to me I'm not going to buy it. No amount of shame, pro-blackness, or "We are in this shit together" is going to make me buy what doesn't interest me. I'm sure some black lesbians feel this way about my work....which is their right....just like it's my right to cut my losses and expand to a bigger demographic. 

So, my suggestion to all those black women who find themselves angry due to the lack of support from black women, is cut your losses and move on to "others." Your ideas may not find the support in your community, but there may be others who appreciate your work.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

My New Baby...Louie!


This is my new dog Louie! He was born July 1, 2015. He is golden retriever. I bought him from a breeder. He is currently still with the breeder, but he will be coming home to me on August 22, 2015. I'm so excited. 

Here is a break down of what's been happening in my life...
  1. I turned 30 years old....*Sad Face*
  2. I befriended a self-made black millionaire after purchasing a used book on Amazon and discovering his phone number in that book. That self-made black millionaire is Joe Dudley...of Dudley of the great titans of black hair care.
  3. I returned from my world trip. 
  4. I've been house shopping. I'm finally ready to buy my first home. 
  5. I purchased Louie. 
  6. I did something I swore off...I got a job. I'm an insurance underwriter now. 
  7. I'm still thinking about asking Sapphire to marry me. She's a wonderful woman. 
And that's about it!
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