I swear 2014 will go down as the year of contradictions for me...
This year I fell for a white woman.
This year I had a series of dreams about fucking a man.
And now, I'm in love with a married woman.
I met her through a mutual friend. She moved to Atlanta in August because her job transferred her. I met her in September. When we first met I didn't think much of her. I thought she was incredibly cute, but I didn't give her much thought because she told me she was married with no kids.
Physically, she is light-skinned, a little chubby, with a nice set of dimples. If you know anything about me, you should know I don't do chubby. So, the fact that I'm even attracted to her physically is something new as well.
Anyway, for the purpose of this blog I will call her dimples. Dimples is 35 years old. She's been with her husband since she was 19 years old. Apparently the two of them want children, but it hasn't happened for them. She is a hardworking career woman. Her husband is a bum ass nigga (seriously, dude is a full-time housewife).
Last Friday I took Dimples to Lenox Mall. Since arriving in Atlanta she hasn't done any sight seeing...nor has she ventured out. So, I took her to Lenox Mall to shop and get some Garrett's popcorn, which is the current talk of the town. I had a nice time. I think she did too.
In the course of our trip to the mall we discussed aspects of our lives. I informed her that I'm really into ancient African history and genealogy. I educated her on my family history and DNA. She said it was something she found interesting.
She informed me of her birthday which is later this month. I thought to myself, "I'm going to buy her a DNA test for her birthday..." for genealogical purposes.
I bought the test and gave it to her yesterday. She was somewhat taken aback, but she said she was excited about it. Later that day I received a text message from her saying the DNA test was too much. I replied, "Don't worry about it. I want you to have it. You'll thank me once you get your results. It is an enlightening experience." A few minutes later I received a call from her...
She told me she felt some kind of way about me giving her the DNA test. I asked why? She didn't respond directly but she did ask me if I was having thoughts about her? This showed me exactly why she was so bothered by the gift. To her it was like me giving her roses or something that would indicate my romantic interest in her.
There was an awkward moment of silence.
Yes, I was having thoughts about her, but me gifting her the DNA test had nothing to do with that. So, I denied it.
Me (playing dumb): What kind of thoughts?
Her: Romantic thoughts.
Me: No, I'm not having those kinds of thoughts.
Again, it was a lie. I was having those thoughts, but I didn't plan to act on them. I don't have it in me to go after a married woman...not to mention someone who is clearly not a lesbian.
Sigh, but even still I can't get her out of my mind. I think about her all the time...and I want her.