Monday, October 27, 2014

My Way Of Apologizing...

The above bouquet of roses will be delivered to Sapphire tomorrow. It's my indirect way of apologizing for letting Caramel eat the box...though Sapphire doesn't know about it. I'm still not planning to tell her about it, but I have decided not to let it happen again. 

I won't be having sexual relations with Caramel or any other woman...unless I'm not exclusively dating anyone or I'm single altogether. 

I'm human. 

That's really all I have to say.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

I Feel Guilty As Hell But It Felt So Good

I had sex this morning...and it wasn't with Sapphire. 

On one hand, I feel guilty about it because I am exclusively dating Sapphire. On the other hand, I agreed to exclusively date Sapphire...I didn't agree to be celibate in the process of dating/getting to know her. I promise once we enter a relationship I will be faithful, but in the meantime...well let's just say my vagina won't suffer from neglect. 

I know some of you think I'm a damn dog for this shit, but just remember Sapphire and I are still in that "getting to know you stage." We are not officially in a relationship. Yes, I would hate it if she was fucking someone else while we are dating. And no, I wouldn't appreciate her doing this to me. I definitely can see how wrong it is on my part to do onto her what I wouldn't want her doing onto me. With that said, I'm not planning to tell Sapphire about my rendezvous with another chick! What she doesn't know can't hurt her.

I am horny as hell. I just want to fuck! If you've never been intimate with a woman you can't possibly understand the need that arises when you haven't been intimate with one in a while. Sex with a woman is like a drug. It is addictive and you start feigning for it after a while. For me watching a chick go to work in between my legs and feeling the burst of an orgasm is too powerful a feeling to go without for so long.

Who did I let eat the box? 


For those of you who don't know, Caramel is an old fuck buddy. She is probably notorious on this blog for fucking me while her girlfriend was overseas serving in the military. I hate to police another chick's sexuality (especially given my own sexual appetite) but Caramel is...what's a good word...a smut. She was fucking, sucking, drinking my cum for months while her girlfriend was overseas in Afghanistan. The ONLY reason we stopped screwing is because I broke it off because I felt guilty about the whole thing (Caramel didn't feel shit about sucking me off in the house she shared with her girlfriend...SMH). 

Anyway, the two of them are not together anymore. I don't know why. I didn't ask why. Maybe her girlfriend finally got a clue. Who knows? Hopefully, the chick won't come looking for me. I always feared she would find out I was screwing her girlfriend while she was away. I feared she would do some combat moves on my ass!

The only thing I wanted from Caramel when I called her up this morning was sex. And let me tell you...she didn't need much convincing at all.

Caramel is a very pretty woman. She has some nice full lips and a nice set of titties. It felt good watching those titties and lips between my legs. 

I'm thoroughly convinced Caramel will lick the crack of my ass if I ask her to do it. She has no filter or reservations. Upon arriving at my apartment she slipped her hand down my pajama pants and began fingering my already moist pussy. I sat back, relaxed, closed my eyes and let her do her thing. I let her feast on me for an hour and twenty minutes. I swear to God when I came I felt like crying it felt so damn good!

I guess this is the way it will be for now on until something changes with me and Sapphire....

I'm dating one woman and getting licked down by another.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

My Voice & Me Being A Troll

Check Out Entertainment Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with Carlotta Chatwood on BlogTalkRadio

Today I called into the above BlogTalkRadio show to see how the platform works. I ended trolling the host because I think my comments completely caught her off guard. 

I was AMC in her chat room. My voice starts at 108:00 - 124:00 so just skip ahead!

I will give you (anyone) $20 if you can tell me what the hell white men have to do with black men referring to black women as "bitches" and "hoes." This chick was reaching for straws...You can tell I kinda threw her off her rant. 

Anyway, I called another show and I think I completely stunned those folks as well because they didn't know what to say to my comment. I introduced myself as "Lisa" but that is not my name. I begin talking at 24:15 -26:40...

Check Out Self Help Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with Survival Radio Network on BlogTalkRadio

What do you think about my voice? Would you like to hear that squeaky thing every week on my own show?

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Sweat Chapter Four

This weekend I will be working on Sweat chapter four. I took a break from working on Sweat because I needed one. Sometimes I have to put whatever I'm writing aside and come back to it later. 

This  interest in Sweat comes in part because of the upsurge of "likes" I have received on my Sweat Facebook page. I don't know what has happened but the page has gained fifty plus new followers...many of which are middle aged white women. So, I'm pleasantly surprised. 

Given the demographics of my unexpected audience, and MY current love interest, I have decide to create a Caucasian character loosely based on Sapphire. I'm not sure what role she will play in the story. I probably won't introduce her until later in the series. I suspect she will be a popular character in the series.

I figure I better give the people what they want. I'm going to turn out chapter four and immediately begin work on chapter five. When I'm done with that I'm going to turn my attention to Climaxxx and then The Booty Chronicles.

Stay tuned...

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Diary of A Black Lesbian Radio

So I think I'm ready to get Diary of A Black Lesbian Radio off the ground. I originally put the idea on hold because the shrink I was seeing didn't think it was the right time for me to jump into something like this...(keep in mind this was shortly after my grandma's death). Now that I'm in a better state of mind I would like to revisit the idea. 

I have a very southern squeaky girlish/childish voice. I am not sure how this will go over on radio. It is very distinct and unique in my opinion, but again I'm not sure how this will go over on radio. It will likely make me more comical because people tell me my voice is funny.

Anyway, if I decide to run with this idea the shows will air on Sundays at 7:00 PM EST. 

Let me know what you think. Any suggestions?

Saturday, October 18, 2014

A Question I Am Constantly Asking Myself: What The Fuck Is Wrong With Black Women?

Disclaimer: This blog is not about all black women and it certainly isn't about those like me (i.e., lesbians). This post is a general observation I have made for several years. Because I am not heterosexual I generally don't see it as MY problem. Even still I do find it troubling and problematic. I hate even having these thoughts but they are there and I'm sure I'm not the only person who has them. Here we go...

I often ask myself what the fuck is wrong with black women? Why? Because too damn many just seem to be suckers for abuse, drama, bullshit, mistreatment, oppression, and nonsense. What am I talking about?

You would have to be deaf, blind, and dumb NOT to see the civil war black men have declared on black women in this country. Domestic violence is high. Murder suicides are high. Rape statistics are high. Black men are all over social media promoting violence and abuse against black women. They are going out of their way to defame and degrade black women's hair, skin color, beauty, culture, etc. It's gotten so bad that you would think these niggas were white supremacist and members of gawdamn Klu Klux Klan. The shit is both disgusting and mind blowing.

And before someone (there is always some dumbass broad who does this) says, "Well they aren't all like that. There are some good black men out there...." Tell me where the fuck these "good" black men are when niggas are going on social media and throwing black women under the bus. 

Where the fuck are they when niggas are putting down black women in rap/hip hop lyrics? 

Where the fuck are they when niggas are talking shit about black women on twitter with various degrading hashtags? 

Where are they? No where to be found!

I can't understand for the life of me why today's black women (let's just say 15-40) even fuck with black men at all! If I were straight I wouldn't give them the time of day. You couldn't pay me. Between the misogyny and the lack of substance, I would find myself put off by them collectively.  

The truth of the matter is black women got cheated with the group of men they ended up stuck with due to race. In the lottery of men black women got the short end of the stick.

Even though this civil war is plain and obvious you still have black women out here who actually stand by black men, fight for black men, and even some who will spit on other black women to please black men. Every time there is a Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown, or an Oscar Grant it's black women out here marching for these folks. Yet it is a RARE thing that I actually see the same support being returned. Black men are more prone to throwing black women (and children) under the bus than actually providing any type of support or protection. 

At some point these motherfuckers bought into their own worthlessness and accepted it as their permanent unchanging position in this world. And as result black women are burden with a self-hating group of assholes.

I wish to God that black women, collectively, would come together and rally against the sexism and misogyny spewed by black men. Sisters need to throw that damn, "We're all in this together bullshit" out the window and start aiming aggressively at black men's heads. Drop all this bullshit about racial unity (everybody black is not your friend, brother, or sister) and start putting yourselves first.

My Gift To Sapphire

When I asked Sapphire about something she always wanted to do but never had a chance to do she said she wanted to ride in a hot air balloon. Next week I am making it happen. I ordered a private hot air balloon ride for the two of us. 

Can I be honest and admit I'm scared as hell? I hate heights. I hate flying. It will take everything in me to make it through this ride.

Pray for me.
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